So I came in to work today and people had moved around. Two different people were on the row, though one is a friend, so that was cool. Still, I knew if they'd moved, I was going to be moving to the other end of the building and sure enough I was.
I was still feeling kind of crappy today so this was not a lot of fun. Also, I found out I'd won an award at the quarterly awards ceremony on Sunday (attendance wasn't mandatory, and it was off-site, so I chose not to go). That was a surprise.
Overall, I'm feeling less overwhelmed now that I'm home. I've managed to get a fair amount of chores that were piling up done yesterday and today and I think i can tackle one obstacle at a time. I really need to work on eating healthier and getting more rest, etc. so I'm not so physically and mentally run down. I've realized over the past couple days that my friends are incredible people that I'm lucky to know. Thanks to all of you who were there for me.
7.29.2002
*sigh*
So I just discovered that one of the buildings in my apartment complex burned down late last night and I completely didn't notice until I drove by it today. One woman died and a firefighter was injured. They don't know what started it yet. I really need to get renters insurance, these apartment fires scare the crap out of me. I can't afford to replace all the things I own if my place burns down. I'm feeling overall discouraged and overwhelmed by life, but even typing about it is too much right now.
7.12.2002
too many topics for a title
more geek stuff I can't believe I forget to post that I got my iBook! I'm really enjoying it, but I haven't taken it to work yet. I'm scared of the theft problem, and even though I have a lock for it, I feel like I'm going to have to keep disconnecting it and locking it in a drawer every time I walk away from it. I've also set up my router so I can have the PC and the iBook (and, in theory, the old Mac) on the net at the same time. I've actually been able to set up filesharing between the two. Now that I've installed WinXP on the PC, I can also use my iTools iDisk on the PC. I'll have to start taking advantage of that.
apartment hunting stuff The reviews for my current apartment complex were overwhelmingly bad at AptRatings.com (see the reviews) so I decided to look at the reviews for the complex I'm interested in. Not so good. Here's how it stacks up: Current apartment is too expensive, too small, maintenance is pretty bad. New apartment would be less expensive, more space, maintenance sounds even worse. I guess I'll have to check the other place out but that bad maintenance report is not making me happy.
dating I said I wasn't going to do it again, but I signed up for personals. This time at nerve.com. I keep typing it as nerver, and since that's a combo of nerve and never, I don't think that's a good sign. Still, it's not like I'm required to go out on dates, so we'll see how it goes.
7.10.2002
sick
I was home sick on Monday and Tuesday, so today at work was a bit overwhelming. It's become obvious that with the new job comes new responsibility, and I would have been doing my anxiety a favor by dragging my sick ass to work instead of staying home. Though maybe Leslie's right and I'm too conscientious. My customers that I needed to call back didn't even seem to notice I was gone. I didn't show up to 10 urgent voicemail messages or anything.
While I was home sick, I managed to do a bunch of lingering dishes, some random tidying, a load of laundry, buy these neat building blocks to make a storage unit/nightstand after Carol showed me a neat desk she found at Target, and may actually have found an apartment I'm interested in.
I'm not moving until October/Novemberish, but this place costs less than I'm paying now, has about 200 more square feet than my current place, a loft, water is included (it isn't at my current place), and the deposit, pet deposit, and pet fees are all reasonable. The drawback? It's near Ben White, so it would be a longer drive to work. Still, it's not that far south, it's probably worth it. I figure I'd be saving close to $40 or more a month in rent, and maybe spending an extra $10 a month in gas, so I'd still be ahead, especially with having more space. And with the loft, I could actually put my office stuff up there and use the dining area for *gasp* dining. I think I'd better call these people and see if they're thinking a loft apartment will open up when I need it, and start saving now.
Dock was home sick today, and he got a bunch done too. He asked why he can't get all this stuff done on Saturdays, and I'm wondering the same thing. Though I think it has a lot to do with Saturday and Sunday being my days off, my days to relax, and if I'm home on a workday, I feel guilty and overachieve.
7.7.2002
the ideal
So I've been single for several months now. I don't meet that many people outside of work. I don't object to dating coworkers as long as they can be adults about it. Still, something's not working. Here are my flaws (as I perceive them):
I drink too much
I sleep too much (or I don't like being bothered when I decide it's time to sleep.)
I don't like big crowds or strangers
I like spending time alone
My social skills suck, even though I can fake it, and I'm scared of new people/situations
I get cranky and run out of patience because I'm a) tired b) hungry c) fed up with being patient and mellow on the phone all day.
So I started to think about what I want in a guy. I originally thought it was three things: 1) A guy I'm attracted to, 2) An intelligent guy, and 3) Is attracted to me. I'm lucky to get two out of three. Then I added 4) Doesn't just want sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love sex, especially good sex, but that's really not hard for a girl to find and so I'm actually looking for someone to date. Date seriously if things go well (not marriage, I think marriage is a bit pointless in this day and age, and not kids, because they scare me).
So what I'm looking for is a guy who is:
cute (by my definition, which I realize is very subjective)
smart
likes to read
doesn't mind my sleepiness, i have a weird schedule and sleep whenever
drinks, a lot
would be willing to go hiking, visiting caverns, dams, etc. because I can't keep doing nothing other than work forever.
can cook
wants to eventually just date me
The reality is, he doesn't exist. And I'm going on too old to bother.
my mood
I don't know if anyone has really noticed the little iMood thingy I have over there in the column on the lefthand side of this page. I decided to update my mood today, and realized that the overall moods are overwhelmingly negative. Now, in general, I'm happier than I've been in years. I know that there are times when the mood I choose would be something other than "exhausted" (which is apparently the iMood I select more often than any others) or "blah" or "frustrated" or "anxious", "tired", or "weird", all of which tie for second. Positive moods include: "affectionate", "better", "bouncy", "clean", "cozy", "devilish" (I like that one), "good", "horny" (well, okay, not necessarily positive, but resolving that mood is good), "introspective", "ok", and "satisfied". So even my positive moods don't seem all that positive. It could be that I just don't remember to update when I'm in a really great mood, but I think I really need to focus on increasing the happy.
