Okay, so even though the rest of the post has been smooshed together with this one, I actually posted it yesterday, then deleted it, then decided I might as well put it back. Why not be honest?
The good news is that I was on the phones all day today, and there were some bad parts, but I think everything's going to be okay. I'm much calmer. I'm sure that on Monday I'll be receiving "constructive criticism" but that's okay too, because I need to ask the coaches some questions about things that I know didn't go well today and get information about how to deal with those things when they come up. Thankfully, all the customers who called were really nice and really patient with me. I don't like feeling incompetant, and I'm certainly not used to it anymore, but I will survive this, and in just a few weeks, I'll be back to feeling like an old pro. I'll just keep telling myself that.
Yeah...If you could just go ahead and do that...that would be great
Okay, I know I've been all shiny and happy about my new job, but let's face it, it's shitty starting over from ground zero. I haven't done frontline tech support since I was 20. I am truly thankful to have found a job, and I need the money, but it's still miserable. Nearly everyone in my training class is way way over-qualified, and is making 30% less than they're used to or more, and noone seems to realize this. It's obvious that noone at The Company has seen any of our resumes, and they just assume that we're the usual dumbass contractors they usually get. We're treated like we're five, and sure, I may act like I'm a little scared of being on the phones, but that's because a) it's been so many years b) there are six thousand rules and policies to follow that I can't find on the stupid database they have that doesn't have intuitive searching capabilities c) I'm being watched and reprimanded constantly, which is meant to "help" me, but just makes me more nervous d) I'm supposed to try to sell the customers an extended support plan every time they call, and/or deny them free phone support if they're outside a certain time window and I'm not a fucking salesperson. I've been trained to help people fix their computers. If they're grumpy already, I don't want to sell them anything.
I was so close to quitting today. Not only is my car fucked up, so I need to fix it at some point soon, but I was trying to follow procedures and accidentally hit the power button on my power strip today and shut down my computer so I had to reconstruct my notes, but right at that moment a "coach" showed up to tell me what I did wrong (oops, I mean "help" me) on the last call I took, but then another "coach" called to bitch at me (I mean "advise") about a call I took yesterday and I just about lost it. I mean, I'm not a princess, I can take criticism, but this is so much bullshit for so little pay. Not to mention that my work week was Monday-Friday for training but my new schedule is Saturday-Tuesday, so I'm working straight through with no time off. Also, as contractors, we're never ever supposed to get overtime, so I don't have any idea what to do when I get stuck on a call until after my quitting time. Plus, I'll be working the late shift, and we don't get to go home until the queue is empty, so who knows when quitting time is? Four weeks of training and they never explained this. Unbelievable. ARGH.
sidenote
Oh? You want to know about my love life? What is love? I can't even get casual sex anymore. This is not an invitation, just a gripe. Fuck dating, fuck guys, fuck fucking.
Thanks. Maybe you should try to talk to me in a month. I'll either have sold all my shit and moved to Ireland, or I'll be dead from a heart attack from stress and lack of sleep. So stop sending me email about how you're worried, 'kay? =)
9.24.2001
shining, gleaming, steaming flaxen waxen
[bonus points if you have any idea where that heading came from] Just a quick post. I'm dyeing my hair purple by the end of the week, but here's a crappy picture of me as a blonde:
9.21.2001
thursday night's alright
I just got back from the Modest Mouse show at Stubb's. I went with Carol, and we ran into Peter and his friends (who were really cool). I have one Modest Mouse cd, and I like it, but the show just blew me away. I think it was exactly what I needed. On the way to the show, though, I was listening to W's speech on the radio. I just know that this is to prepare us for a massive bombing of Afghanistan in a few days, or something equally horrible. I'm reading now that they think the draft being started is unlikely, but Bush put so much emphasis on how long this "war on terrorism" is going to be, and I'm scared. I was standing there at the show and thinking about how half the guys there could be dead soon, and thinking about my friends who joined the military just to get money for school. So many potential lives lost in a war that won't end (at least until Bush fails the next election) because you just can't erradicate terrorism. Then there's the Office of Homeland Security, which is just the kind of potential clampdown on our civil liberties that I fear. I don't know what else to say. I'm in a weird place, and I'm not liking it here.
9.19.2001
i'm sorry
I'm going to skip the bad stuff that we all know about, because you can watch the news for that. I'm not being callous, I just don't know what to say.
the good stuff
Happy hours with coworkers, either at the Carousel Lounge on Fridays, or impromptu worknight happy hours like yesterday with J. Dock at the Draught House. They have yummy vanilla porter, and they give you a huge glass and it's cheap, especially on Tuesdays, but it kicks my ass, and it'll probably kick yours too. Plus we're going to be doing fancy potluck style dinners once or twice a month, it seems, since we can all cook, and that's really nice. I need to cook dinner for Chris and Kerry again soon too.
New friends, both at work and not. Here's a good place for me to put another link to Peter's blog and also to Carol's online journal.
Old friends who care. I'm sorry I slept through dinner and phone calls Sunday evening, I was exhausted, but I didn't mean to worry you all. Also, it was nice to hear that Matthew isn't getting sent to war, at least yet.
Burning CDs. Lots of fun. So far I've made a ska retrospective for Luke (which I gave to him on Sunday) and a mostly punk CD for Kevin. I know I promised one to Law-ra and Devil, and I'll make that one soon.
Shows. I went to see the White Stripes on Saturday with Carol, and I'd never heard them before, but they were good. Tomorrow is Modest Mouse. Next I need to find a punk show to drag Carol to.
Work. I'm still happy to have a job. We got our cubes yesterday and I got my Mac set up just the way I want it, for now. I apologize for not having AIM installed right now, I think it might be too distracting. You all can email me or call me, though. My mentor continues to rock, she xeroxed useful stuff for me and showed me the office supply room.
My folks. They're safe and sound, and they're driving to Austin to visit for xmas so I don't have to take unpaid time off. I guess they don't want to fly, I haven't heard the explanation for the road trip yet. Kind of cool, though.
That's not everything I'm thankful for this week, but it's all I can come up with right now. I'm way too tired. I need more sleep, my apartment to clean itself, my grocery shopping to be done, and my car washed, and I won't have too many complaints.
the bad Okay, I said I wouldn't do it, but I have to. I was shocked by last Tuesday's events, and I'm still sad about the tremendous loss of life. What this has emphasized for me, though, is that I don't want more people to be hurt and killed. Certainly if we can really figure out who's responsible, they should be erm...taken care of, but I don't want military folks or more civilians from our country or abroad to die in a futile war. I would also like to ask that people please not boycott the businesses of, or beat up people they simply suspect of being from the Middle East or Muslims. These people are not the ones who committed the crimes, they're as innocent as you are, and it upsets me (but doesn't surprise me) to think that people can be that ignorant.
9.9.2001
small world
It turns out that one of my coworkers (in my training class) is a guy I spoke to through match.com. We never met in person, I gave up on online dating services right around that time. It turns out he's really cool, but now we're working together. *sigh* Anyway, he's new to Austin, and we both need more friends, so it's all good. But it does prove to me that meeting people in person is important, because I had no idea how neat-o he was from his profile.
home from worky-jerky
Have I mentioned how happy I am to be employed? I'm making about 10K less than I used to, but I'm so damn happy. The market is so bad, too, that most of the people in my training class are very over-qualified, so it's nice being with peers. My coworkers are pretty sarcastic and funny, and we even have one class member who's a standup comic. We took live calls (just to get the name, phone number, and serial number of the computer) and then passed the calls on to our mentors on Friday. I haven't done phone support since I moved to Austin, and I was surprised by how scared I was. It all went okay, but I need to fortify myself before the next time, I think. We got to play with legos too, in a training exercise, and both my mentors (Apple employees who do phone support already) have been super cool. I've never before been so happy to have a job, and it's nice that I'm working with two companies I like.
9.2.2001
On Being a Vegetarian
disclaimer: This is a list of rants. My friends and family who have made all sorts of special efforts to accomodate my new diet are completely exempt from this list, and I really appreciate their understanding. Also to those of you who have done some of these things in the past and have since either stopped or apologized, please try not to take it personally.
Making as many references to meat as possible. I don't mean just saying "I had really good baked chicken for dinner tonight, with mashed potatoes and broccoli." I mean constantly joking about whether I had a ham sandwich for lunch, and mocking me. You might think it's funny, but I just think it's tedious. I don't spend hours every day thinking about how meatless my meals are. I don't eat meat, but I don't think about not eating meat all day, and I would hope that you don't spend every waking moment thinking about meat either.
Trying to trick me. Don't tell me that there's beef broth in cream of mushroom soup. I check labels, I know there isn't. If you have something legitimately helpful and informative to share (McDonald's flavors their fries with beef extract, or HEB puts gelatin in their onion dip), go ahead and tell me. Lying to me in hopes that I'll panic about it so you can chuckle is just cruel.
Other vegetarians who bitch at me because I'm not an activist. Yes, I think eating meat is unethical, but I am responsible for my own ethical decisions, not everyone else's. You don't want the Mormons knocking on your door trying to convert you, or the Baptists trying to legislate against abortion, etc. Why do you think anyone wants me to convert them to vegetarianism? I let people decide for themselves. I'm not necessarily an ethical relativist, however, I am aware that other people have different ethical systems and there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I can push all I want, but that means I have to accept other people pushing their morals on me. Nobody's right about everything.
Non-vegetarians telling me that an omelet is "not really vegetarian". Well, it's not vegan, certainly, but it is vegetarian. At this point, I'm an ovo-lacto vegetarian, which means I continue to eat eggs and dairy products. I realize (more than the non-vegetarians) that methods of obtaining milk and eggs are not necessarily particularly kind to animals. If I had more money, I'd make even more of an effort to find products that came from kinder farms. Someday, if I decide to become vegan, I'll let you know, but until then, yes, I'm still a vegetarian, omelet and all.
So do you eat fish? No. I don't eat fish. I also don't eat chicken. I don't eat things containing gelatin, either (yes, that means no jello *sobsob*). I eat vegetables, fruits, grains, dairy and eggs, as well as sweeteners like sugar and honey. It's fairly simple.
The leather issue. Yes, I have a leather jacket, a leather belt, and some leather and suede shoes. No, I haven't really figured out what to do about this yet. The current decision is to keep wearing what I already own (which was all purchased before I made the vegetarian choice) until it wears out. As far as replacing things goes, that will be easy with sneakers and belts, and there's no reason for me to buy another leather jacket. I don't know what I'm going to do about my boots (though Shane has found me a source), but I don't wear them much anyway. This is an ongoing process, but thanks for checking up on my morals.
Feeling sorry for me and/or worrying about my health. I don't feel sorry for me, I'm very happy. I love vegetables, and I can cook well, and I get to eat tons of delicious food. I may occasionally miss some meat-related food item, but I can usually find a substitute. Also, the desire fades over time. I'm happy with this decision, don't worry about me. Same with health issues. I'm a big girl, I take my vitamins, I plan my meals, and I listen to my body. If this isn't enough, and I start to have health problems, I will re-examine the possibility of vegetable protein shakes, etc. I actually feel healthier now than I did before, but thanks for you concern.
I know I keep promising more on the reasons why I decided to stop eating meat, but you're just going to have to wait. Maybe next week.
Everything else
I got the job! I'm now contracting through Adecco as a tech support person at Apple. I had my first "day" on Friday, and we went a few hours going over the basics, and met the people who will be training us, and then went home. It seems like a really cool place, everyone is super friendly, and I'm happy that I'll be working there. Since I've been back in Austin, I've mainly been going to job interviews for the aforementioned job and trying to get the school situation straightened out, since I won't be going full-time anymore. Also, the apartment is a pit, and I've been trying to get it cleaned up. Highlights include: the arrival of my new PC, which is to blame for all the boxes lying around my place, dinner at Chris and Kerry's (homemade pizza last night, and we watched Shanghai Noon), and going out and having beers with Peter. [note: he hasn't put anything in his blog yet, check back later.]
