So I have this neat stats thing at extremetracking.com, and it tells me what the last 20 search terms that people used (and clicked on) to get my site were. I've been saving them just for fun, and here's a list of the stranger ones:
"Wednesday""Blonde""Favorite Day of the Week" austin purple hair eggplant ITE Hair Cut Course homemade ekg triskalion tattoos pee "port a potty" I had to pee like a racehorse KISSING BELLYBUTTONS hiney photos striped skunk boobs"their size" trudy nipples out smart boobs thrashed my apartment picture of mashed turnips cologne turns me on wonder skunk "I was smart" orange squish bleached hair and stoned coke covers, snap-on Jen "flat tire" panda serial number homemade painkillers mickey mouse mom dad hair dye and cranberry juice To sleep- perchance to cream Excuse Me, is that an oozy tickling torture watch free the boring cell haircut for cats thanks for sending email life is boring here boring sex life cartoons pepperidge farm goldfish theme song
4.25.2002
this is not a "nobody likes me" post
I like to pretend that I don't care what other people think about me, and in some ways this is true. I don't care if I'm too nerdy, or if my occasional indulgence in cheap sci-fi/fantasy books makes people think I have no taste (or bad taste). I don't worry too much about my clothes (besides if they're clean, and these days it helps if they're not about to fall off), and I don't care what people think about my hair. I don't care if anyone likes my friends or boyfriends, as long as I like them. I enjoy being sarcastic, and noone ever accused me of having a good attitude, though I don't think it's all that bad, considering.
I'm been coming to a realization lately, though, that the one thing I do care about is people liking me. I don't like not getting along with people. I don't like not being liked. I get anxious when put in a situation where I may have to say something that could end a friendship. I will smile at the same person that I pass on the sidewalk or in the halls 100 times even if they never smile back, and then I'll keep smiling just in case I catch them by surprise one day and they accidentally smile back. I will put up with people being jerks, just because I assume there's got to be something good about them in there somewhere, and maybe they're just having a bad day. This isn't to say that I regularly let people walk all over me, most people don't even try, and I do have limits, but I'm all about second and third chances.
I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing. It seems fairly normal to want to be liked, and for the most part it's more beneficial than detrimental. It's only a problem when I'm liked more than I'm comfortable with and I have to figure out how to solve that without, well, being disliked. Or when I'm liked less than I want to be, and attempts to fix that are unsuccessful. In the course of trying to achieve some sort of balance, I think I get a little overwhelmed, and that would explain why I tend to need so much time on my own.
4.12.2002
annual inspection
So it's my day off, and for some reason I'm up anyway. I'd only been up for five minutes when the maintenance people showed up to do the apartment's annual inspection. Apparently I'd misinterpreted the flyer and thought they were doing all of them on Monday, not over the course of the week. They would pick a day when I'm in my PJs and trying to relax.
I haven't done much this week. Tuesday I was supposed to meet Josh to see the Jayhawks at 9 and was on a phone call until after 9, and by the time I got some food, it was 9:30. I ended up giving up and going to bed. At least I got lots of sleep this week. It's been kind of nice waking up in the morning feeling decent.
Today I managed to get a new haircut [it's pretty much the same, but now it looks like I did it on purpose]. Now I just need to decide on a color. Turquoise? Blue? or something more natural like honey blonde, or dark brown with a hint of red?
Update: I decided on turquoise (which you can probably tell from the comments), and this is what it looks like, kind of, except my camera sucks: turquoise!
4.4.2002
it's been...a week
Good stuff:
I got my tax return back so I've paid my overdue bills and bought a Gamecube
My folks sent me extra cash to buy clothes, so once I get around to shopping, my jeans won't be about to fall off anymore.
It's almost Friday, and that means it's almost Carousel night. Elizabeth McQueen and the Firebrands are playing, as well as Greatest American Heroes (who do TV and movie theme covers) with their new "mystery" bassist.
I finished reading The Plague and tonight I bought The Fall, two John Bellairs books to add to my collection of books I loved when I was little, and Frank Herbert's Dune which I haven't read since I was 8 or so. I keep being surprised by the weird stuff I read when I was younger.
Annoying but not terrible stuff:
Stupid social security administration
Weird calls at work this week that have been a pain in my butt
I need a haircut, even if everyone keeps saying they like it as is
I can't beat the third boss in Luigi's Mansion
My cats have to get their shots this month and my car needs servicing
My schedule is changing back to the suck hours
You can't find Smartfood white cheddar popcorn in Texas even though it's now owned by Frito-Lay
The "internet" called me a hippie the other day. (Well, actually, it was emode)
[Two pictures of my shaggy hair: 12. I'd brighten them up a bit, but ImageReady isn't cooperating]
4.1.2002
why was jen late for work this morning?
Backstage> eXpress Message Enter recipient: Evilpanda >i'm late for work. i called and let them know i would be. >i called the social security bastards today and cursed at someone's >grandmother. > eXpress message received by Evilpanda
*** You sent this eXpress message to Evilpanda at 16:48 *** >they have my birthdate in their records as being in september. normally, i >wouldn't care, but every time i try to efile my taxes, i get denied because >the birthdate i entered (the right one) and my social security number don't >match. so i finally decide to fix it, they send me a form, they swear that >all i need to send is my birth certificate. i get the damn form back and >they say i haven't provided "adequate proof" of my identity.
*** You sent this eXpress message to Evilpanda at 16:50 *** >so i call them and ask "what the fuck am i supposed to do? i'm not going to >your office downtown, i don't have time, you open so late that i should be at >work and i'm not jumping through hoops to fix your goddamn screw up. No, i >won't go get a certified copy of my drivers license, see above. >Motherfuckers" I finally got them to say I can send my expired passport and >they'll motherfucking fix their mistake.
I'm just a little frustrated. I shouldn't be surprised, this is our government after all, but it's amazing the amount of shit I'm having to go through to fix someone else's mistake. Adequate proof of my identity?? Like I'm going to be trying to get someone else's birthdate changed for my amusement! [Also, if you're one of those guys that always apologizes for cursing in front of me, please take another look at the language used above and get the fuck over it. Thank you.]
