THE BERT FERSHNERS (Sketch Comedy Group)

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Seven guys. Seven cute, funny, well-mannered, highly intelligent, clean-cut guys. The Bert Fershners. Again, I met them at the US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, which has turned out to be a fine resource for cute comedy boys. I hung out with them at Telephone Bar and Grill in Manhattan's East Village, where they perform with Comedysportz every Wednesday night.

ANITA LIBERTY: So Josh just said that the only rule in THE BERT FERSHNER HANDBOOK is that if someone gets a role in a STAR WARS prequel, as it were, and George Lucas calls, that you then get to sort of dishonor your commitment to the Fershners.

Mike: For that job.

Josh: Put it on hold.

Mike: And I was saying that being a creature on a STAR TREK episode would be close. Because you're unrecognizable.

Joey: But some creatures just have a little noodle on their nose.

Josh: But you're also drawing a comparison that I feel is--look, STAR WARS is a whole different level--STAR WARS is history!

AL: Wait. I have a question. Forget STAR WARS versus STAR TREK. If you take a job outside of the Fershners--

Mike: You don't take a job outside of the Fershners.

AL: But if you take a job on a STAR WARS prequel, do you have to be unrecognizable as a Fershner?

All: No.

Joey: You could be like Ben Kenobi's cousin--

Mark: Or I could appear as myself. Or even as a Fershner.

Mike: It doesn't matter. If you're going to be in STAR WARS, go for it. But I was just saying--

Josh: I'd be R2D2.

Mike: The STAR WARS thing is just because it's STAR WARS. That's the thing.

Mark: You guys can call me Ben now.

AL: So what is the general rule of the Fershners if an opportunity comes along that's really good for just one of you?

Mike: The trick is not to put yourself into a position of temptation. You don't go to the proverbial entertainment industry cathouse and risk temptation. We literally tell casting people that we're not available as individuals, for legit things. For commercial things, you know, it doesn't matter, 'cause that's different. We've been approached by dozens of casting people--

Josh: Millions.

Joey: No. No. Honestly we have.

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