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I did a show out in Los Angeles in the fall of 1996. Ruben Paul came to that show and told a mutual friend of ours that he thought I had a nice ass. We've been friends ever since. It doesn't take much.
(PHONE RINGS)RUBEN PAUL'S ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi, this is me, I'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Peace. (BEEP) ANITA LIBERTY: Hi, I was supposed to call half an hour ago and wake you up. Where are you?
RUBEN PAUL: I'm right here.
Am I waking you up?
Of course you are.
Is that true? You said you got up at 8:30 or 9.
What time is it?
9:40.
Wow.
What did you do last night?
Oh, I went to a friend of mine's [laughs] birthday party.
Why is that funny?
Of course he was an hourlate to his own party, which pissed me off. There's nothing worse than being the first guy at a party, especially when you're cool like me...
OohÉwere you the first one? Were you were sitting there at the restaurant by yourself?
I was 20 minutes late and I was the first one. It was a party of my people.
[laughs]
Don't quote me on that, I'll deny it. I never said that. So, I walk through the door and [the maitre d'] said, "Okay, you're the first one." I wanted to go back out and get in my car.
And go home?
Just drive around for a while. Anyway, yeah, it was a cool party but this friend of his came in and [laughs] almost got into a fight with this older white man at the bar.
Really?
Yeah, and we're in this nice restaurant. And the white guy said, "Do you want to take it outside?"
[laughs]
So the young black guy was like, "Yeah." Then I guess the white guy came to his senses and said, "Well...
"Maybe we should keep it inside."
"Can't we reason this out?"
[laughs] And the young black guy's like already outside going, "Come on, come on."
Of course I got a new joke out of it. We were just dying laughing because we just figured that the guy was a little drunk. He had to be like 50-something and this black guy had to be like 26. So they're walking out, and I'm thinking he said, "Hey, you know I lost my head back there. [laughs] Hey, you know I do taxes, if you ever need a good tax man, just give me a call. This is water under the bridge, pal. Your people have been fighting for too long. Let's just make amends right now, I mean I'm sorry, I was an asshole back there." [laughs]
[laughs] That is so perfect.
You know the thing about waking somebody up in the morning is that now I have to pee. Can you hold on?
Yeah, I guess. [laughs](PAUSE)
I'm back.
Okay. So Ruben, are you more awake now?
Yes, I'm very much awake now. (yawns)
How do you come up with your stuff? I mean, an incident like last night happens and you're like, "That would be funny," and then you figure out how to make it funnier?
Yeah. That's pretty much how you do it. Or you think about situations or things that bother you, and you make light about it.
You sort of blow it out of proportion.
I think for comedy you have to believe in everything you're saying. You have to believe, I mean, not in it being the truth, but in it being funny. And if something doesn't make me laugh out loud, I won't do it. I know that sounds egotistical, but it's really just confidence.
I would love to be a fly on the wall in your apartment.
You'd just die laughing.
[laughs] Do you try stuff out on people?
To me, that's the corniest thing you could ever do. A lot of comics do this: "Hey, check this out, all right, I got this new bit."
So it's not imperative for you to be "on" all the time?
Not at all. A lot of people have met me and they go, "You do stand-up?"
It is really rare. You do not do your whole routine in the middle of a conversation.
I think the key to being successful is really trying to please yourself. I really believe that. And not letting people justify what you do, whether it be the industry or whether it be the audience, in a sense. I know that might sound crazy, but you really have to do what you want to do, and if you're true to yourself and what you do then people will like it. Because if you have a room of 100 people and 98 love you, but two aren't even cracking a smile, what are you going to do? Change your routine for those two people?
Well, it's a fine line, because sometimes you see performers who don't care what the audience thinks and you're like, "Hey dude, you're on stage, you should care what I think because I paid to see you." So there's that, but when you see someone who's really engaged in telling a story and they just want to tell you the story, it's fascinating.
Yeah, that's so true.
Do you want to be an actor?
Yeah. I mean, it sounds corny because on my resume it's like, "comedian-slash-actor." "Actor-slash-comedian."
Yeah, like if one doesn't work out, I'll do the other.
It seems like that, and a lot of people use comedy to get their foot in the door. But my goal as an artist is to do both drama and comedy. No black male has ever really done it successfully so far. That's very important to me. Steve Martin has done it successfully. And Robin Williams. I look to him as an example, even though our styles of comedy are totally different. You're not laughing when [Robin Williams] is doing something serious. Because he's that good. And Whoopi Goldberg has done it, even though she wasn't a traditional stand-up. She did comedy and she's respected as a dramatic actor, and I really want to be respected for comedy and for acting. That's why I study, and that's that serious part of me. I want to touch people in every way that I can. Not just by making them laugh, but by really making them feel, you know? I think sometimes we don't realize what an impact we have on people, and I think the thing with stardom is the forum. It's like now I have a bigger forum to reach more people. To really affect people and entertain them.
But the thing about stand-up versus acting is that with stand-up you actually get the opportunity to express your opinion.
Yeah, but that's why it's cool when you get to the point as an actor where you can do the roles that you really want to do. You can be choosy. That's something I've wanted from the beginning. It's hard because people only want you to do one thing well. When you start doing two things, they're like, "Who do you think you are?"
Right, right, right, right.
So that's where I'm at, at this point in my career, which is cool because no one knows who I am. I'm going to start my career like that, from the ground up, so it's not like I'm going to do a Jim Carrey where everybody's going to know me as the funniest guy in the world and then, all of a sudden, I want to do HAMLET.
Right.
"No, grab your butt and talk with it."
Boy, I don't ever want anyone to expect that of me.
Grab your ass and talk.
Ruben, were you a funny little boy?
Yeah, for survival. [laughs]
So you made people laugh to preserve your role in the family?
Not really in my family, but in school. In school, the feeling of making somebody laugh was just amazing. It's just a great feeling to besitting there and not really planning on saying what you're going to say, but then you say something and no one knew you were going to say what you said, but they laugh. And it's strange to think that if I didn't do what I did, they would still be doing what they were doing before. [laughs]
It's like redirecting the stream. Putting a rock in the river?
Exactly. It's like, "Wow, where did that come from?" They get that moment of enjoyment, then they go back to what they were doing. Or they're still thinking about what you said five minutes later.
So when did you start doing stand-up professionally?
It'll be six years in August.
And how old are you?
I'm 26.
You're a baby.
Don't be jealous.
You're a ba--I'm not jealous. I'm saying I'm a hell of a lot more experienced and smarter than you.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
All right. You think so.
Yeah.
I lived a lot of life, dear.
Yeah. I'm sure you have. Did you grow up thinking you were going to be anything else?
I knew I wanted to do comedy when I saw Eddie Murphy in RAW.
Right. I think that did it for a lot of people. I could never see you in that red leather suit though.
No.
You're not raunchy.
Not at all. Eddie was the first guy who presented comedy in a way so that you didn't have to be a goofy guy. You could be a sex symbol and be a comic.
Yeah, he really broke some ground for you, Ruben. Because otherwise people would be confused by how sexy you are and how funny you are. You would never get work. They'd be calling your manager saying things like, "Well, he's funny, but he's also sexy. We don't know what to do with him."
[laughs] "Do you think he can dance and tell jokes?"
"Do you think he could like maybe turn it down?" So, Ruben, what's the longest romantic relationship that you've ever had?
Six years.
Really? You went out with someone for six years? Who broke it off?
It was one of those things that just kind of disintegrated.
Oh wow. When did that happen?
We got together my senior year in high school and were together until I was 23.
Wow.
Yeah. I mean, I was in a great relationship for six years. If I had to do it all over again I would. But am I glad I'm out of the relationship? Very.
That's a long time at that age.
Yeah, but I was cool with it because I'm not this promiscuous playboy that needed to sow my oats.
Right. So could you meet someone now and have her be the woman you marry?
Yeah.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
You feel like you've had enough experience and you know what you want?
Yeah. Well, meeting women has never been a difficult thing for me.
You know why?
Why?
Because you're so sexed up.
I'm very sexy.
Yeah.
And sometimes that overshadows my comedic talent--my sexiness.
[laughs] But it gets you dates, so you get more dates than you get work.
[laughs] "Is this a gig or am I tossing you up?" "How about if you do twenty minutes, then toss me up? Yeah that'll work." [laughs]
[laughs] Oh no. I love that phrase, "tossing it up." It's kind of cute, actually.
It's better than saying, "Yeah, I fu--," you know.
Can I say "I tossed him up"? Or is it more like "I got tossed up"?
Oh, yeah. "I got tossed up last night." [laughs] Like a salad. That's the tag line: like a salad.
Oh wow. I like that one.
I hope this is not going to be the theme of this interview: Ruben Paul, the "toss-it-up" guy.
Yeah, "Ruben Paul Tosses It Up With Anita Liberty."
[laughs]
So, are you looking for her?
I am.
Okay. What's she like?
I'm interested in a person on an intellectual level. I mean, you could be gorgeous and beautiful, but if I can't talk to you, what good are you to me? And the thing is that some people believe that men are going to be men and they'll never be loyal and they just always have to have sex, and I think that's a bunch of bull. I mean, what are you going to do, have sex with everybody? You'd never be satisfied. You have to come to a point for yourself where it's not just about sleeping with everybody you can. Because there will always be somebody who comes along who's more attractive than the person you're wit
Well, not even more attractive, but there's always going to be the factor of the new and the unknown.
And a lot of guys are like that. Their daily quest is to find new women.
I know.
You know.
I know.
I know I'm young and whatever, but I know exactly what I want and I know the type of woman that I want. I want to be in a relationship. I need someone to share things with, but the cool thing about it is that I've been single for awhile and I love it. I love being alone.
It's a good growth period, and when you're pursuing a career, you focus in a way that you don't when you're in a relationship. It's a tradeoff, because you also get constant affirmation when you're involved with someone, so it becomes easier to get up and fail. At the same time, for me, being single just made my career accelerate.
Because you're totally focused on yourself.
Right.
I can go out on a Saturday night to the hottest restaurant in town by myself, sit at a table and be cool with that.
Okay, well, that's a little sad.
The turning point was when I was at the movies one night and one of my best friends saw me. And he was like, "Who are you here with? Where's your girl?" I said, "I'm here by myself." And he was like, "Aww, man, you could come sit with us." I was like, "No, I'm cool over here."
"In fact, go back to your seat."
Yeah, and then he called me later, and he said that was cool there, but that's kind of sad. And I said, "If I wanted somebody next to me, trust me, I could have somebody next to me. I could have your girl next to me."
Whoa.
That was sexy--and egotistical. You know, cause I'm funny and sexy.
Yeah, I think we've established that.
[laughs] You know, I don't look at myself as sexy at all. That's the funny thing about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but by saying that, what you're really saying is, "I'm so sexy that I can say I'm not sexy." That's how confident I am with my sexuality.
You are so funny.
It's true.
[laughs] No, not at all. Not at all. [laughs]
