S H O W   3 : G U E S T   I S   R Y A N . S C H R A M @



play hp.3 pn pa     on pa
On the front panel, the words light up:
Tape "HP.3" loaded from internal memory.
Pangloss Archives emits a faint click.  A little green light goes on.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Please state the following...
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Wonder or insight.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Hello. And welcome to the Here's Ryan Show. Today I
 will listen carefully to Pangloss, until the hysterical symptom is produced."
[]  Pangloss says, "We are happy to be on the show and ask the proper
 questions."
[]  Pangloss says, "We have forgotten our notes."
[]  Pangloss says, "Is it okay to extemporize?"
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "only internally."
[]  Pangloss says, "We think this may be best then."
[]  stay digitally reconstructs here.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Wonder or insight?
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Inhale? Exhale?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "i'm doing both thanbkfully"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: would you like some water?
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You seem...breathless.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "err, haole?"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: you seem thirsty and yet sated.
[]  Pangloss hands ryan some props.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "an ethnographic imagination cures all ills."
[]  stay (usa) flattens out into a largish 32 cent postage stamp and floats
 away.
[]  Pangloss instructs the audience to be kind though this whorseslut ryan
 doesn't deserve it.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: and you think that an ethnographic imagination
 means to steal people's diaries?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "i didn't steal them ... emp. on "I". They flew."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: does it mean that we should plunder the
 cultures for our own needs?
[]  A largish 32 cent postage stamp floats into the room and fattens up into
 stay (usa).
[]  Baron.Samedi digitally reconstructs here.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I think you are an imperialist.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "no, just their diaries. "
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I think you are a cultural imperialist.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "But we write the diaries for them."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: That's not fair.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Life isn't fair, sweetie."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: what if they record their dreams?
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: what if they interpret their dreams and you
 have written them?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "On vinyl LP, or cdrom"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: that is a moot point. 
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Please state the following: when you first
 started rewriting others' diaries.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Then I guess I'm out of a job..."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Please state the following: Your code of
 ethics and how it allows for such blasphemies.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Please state the following: whether you would
 like some water or not.
[]  Pangloss has water.

  

[]  ryan.schram@ says, "ethics allows nothing...it is a limiting factor."
[]  Pangloss is willing to offer some to you.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Give me some water, then."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Ethics can be expansive.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Ethics can allow for a...oh, one moment.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Involving a necessary contraction, your point exactly."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Bubbles?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Only if you blow them, honey."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Bubbles?!
[]  Pangloss says, "Do you want bubbles in your fucking water?"
[]  Pangloss cries.
[]  Pangloss is floudering.
[]  Pangloss looks to the audience.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Interpret my bubbles however you want, you bastard!"
[]  Pangloss says, "Would anyone care for some water?"
[]  Pangloss slumps to the ground.
[]  ryan.schram@ wants a fucking drink.
[]  Pangloss has forgotten our notes. "Can you tell?"
[]  Pangloss is so trying...is so trying to give you a drink.
[]  Pangloss runs off stage for props.
[]  ....
[]  clunk...
[]  Pangloss comes running back with glasses and a bottle of red wine and some
 rollerskates.
[]  Pangloss pours wine for ryan.
[]  Pangloss hands the glass to ryan nervously.
[]  Pangloss slugs from the bottle.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "thank you my darling."
[]  ryan.schram@ drinks from the glass
[]  Pangloss says, "Audience, please have a seat."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: That will help.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "I'm loose"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: See...I'm not trying to attack you...I'm
 trying to find your history.
[]  Pangloss remembers it.
[]  Pangloss is trying to help you remember it too.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "ethics can be expansive...."
[]  Pangloss says, "In the public realm."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: But can you conceive of ethics without a
 'public'?
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: No you can'.t
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "but they contracted you, no. Remember your numerous
 posts to *theo"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I've seen you try.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: that is a moot point.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: When did you first meet her?
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Hannah.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Pangloss wants me to remember my history..That tape
 was blank."
[]  ryan.schram@ twitches.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You have to think beyond the "documentation"
 of your time...
[]  ryan.schram@ arches eir back.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I have kashic mnemones, so I'm lucky. You have
 akashic records which are sometimes blank, but which give you abstract
 patterns of your past.
[]  ryan.schram@ . o O ( before I wrote words? )
[]  Pangloss runs our hands over ryan's breasts.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You have very firm breasts for a whoreslut.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: YEs!
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "I do pushups."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Before you wrote words.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "I drew things."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You were in a monastery in Scotland.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: before that.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: we sang together.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: you taught me which herbs were poisonous.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "I leid to you. Ha"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: you had a bald head and were generally
 peaceful.
 
  
  

[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: the other monks loved you.
[]  Pangloss did too, but hated you more.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "the point being?"
[]  Pangloss poisoned you.
[]  Pangloss is real sorry is all.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Ulp."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Member?
[]  Pangloss says, "Oh, I guess not."
[]  Pangloss didn't think you'd actually die.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "How much am I getting paid, For $100 a nite, I'll tell
 you anything."
[]  Pangloss just thought you'd get abdominal cramps.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Well I can send you a drawing.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: It used to be worth some money.
[]  Pangloss runs our hands over ryan's head.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Now it'd be worth a stamp."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You have lovely hair.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You do not have a lovely sense of purpose.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: What is your love?
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: this time, I mean. What is your love?
[]  ryan.schram@ sighs. "What color is my hair?"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: white. like your soul.
[]  Pangloss likes it.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "WRONG! What color is it!!"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Oh...I get confused on these things...
[]  Pangloss has infinite temporal bandwidth...
[]  Pangloss says, "That means I can't differentiate sometimes."
[]  Pangloss remembers it all at once, now.
[]  Pangloss says, "All my lifetimes and yours and everyones."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: What is your love this time?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "what color is my hair?"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: How would you like to be remembered?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "tell me the color of my hair..."
[]  Pangloss sighs.
[]  ryan.schram@ politely pressing of hands to knees to stand up.
[]  Pangloss crawls into the audience.
[]  Griffen sshhhh....there is much to be said. I don't have the energy just
 now, but I think you can page someone for help if it comes to that.
[]  Pangloss howls.
[]  Falcon enters obediently after Griffen.
[]  Falcon screaches noisily...
[]  Falcon (#14638) seems to have made silent entry, 24 seconds ago.
[]  Pangloss must demand that the audience keep its gaping facehole shut.
[]  Griffen gently pets Falcon.
[]  Falcon cawwss.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "why should they?"
[]  Griffen says, "Hiya!"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I will say brown or yellow or white or green.
 it doesn't matter.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I am trying to help you.
[]  ryan.schram@  likes a raucous, boisterous audience.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: you think I do this because I *like* it?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "You are doing a very bad job."
[]  Griffen grins.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: It is my sense of duty...it is my sense of
 pride.
 
 
  

[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: it is love for Hannah.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "It is your sense of displace."
[]  Pangloss tries.
[]  Pangloss knows we are ineffectual.
[]  ryan.schram@ twitches.
[]  Pangloss is ineffectual at most things.
[]  Griffen drops Falcon.
[]  Pangloss is incompetent and small.
[]  Falcon falls to the ground suddenly, laying on its back! It's dead! --you
 think. But Griffen seems to know otherwise.
[]  Opening his wings, the Falcon swoops around the room and settles down
 again.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "You can fucking say that again."
[]  Falcon screaches noisily...
[]  ryan.schram@ pours more wine into the glass.
[]  Pangloss crawls on the floor and just asks ryan.scam what her love is and
 why she is so adamant about asserting her insipidness.
[]  Falcon screaches noisily...
[]  Pangloss says, "Yes, more wine."
[]  ryan.schram@ drinks it all in one gulp.
[]  Opening his wings, the Falcon swoops around the room and settles down
 again.
[]  Griffen goes home.
[]  ryan.schram@ [to Pangloss]: @eject the fucking falcon.
[]  Falcon screaches noisily...
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: it is almost like an owl.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "yes, it flies at dusk, and drops dead."
[]  Opening his wings, the Falcon swoops around the room and settles down
 again.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Owls are the harbingers of our tolerance.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Owls are the symbols of the beginning of a new
 age.
[]  Opening his wings, the Falcon swoops around the room and settles down
 again.
 
 

[]  ryan.schram@ says, "an owl is a messanger"
[]  Pangloss says, "yes."
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "it means death."
[]  Falcon screaches noisily...
[]  Pangloss [to Falcon]: Are you a harbinger?
[]  Opening his wings, the Falcon swoops around the room and settles down
 again.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "is there anyone in the audience now?"
[]  Pangloss [to Falcon]: Are you a sign of upbeat tolerance in our topsy
 turvy world?
[]  Falcon screaches noisily...
[]  Falcon is unceremoniously expelled from Charlatan Studio by Pangloss.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Raise your hand if you are really hear."
[]  Pangloss covers our mouth.
[]    --Pangloss.
[]  Baron.Samedi raises his hand
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "stay is also here"
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "and the recorder is here, too."
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Baron.Samedi is an opthamologist.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I think that you have been a most unruly guest.
[]  Baron.Samedi was trying to be the unobtrusive audience requested by 
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I think that you are not truly interested in
 the ondoings.
[]  ryan.schram@ [to Baron.Samedi]: what a waste of time for you then, this
 has been.
[]  Caille Bot (Rumpled and raffish) flattens out into a largish 32 cent
 postage stamp and floats away.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I can only surmise that you have a large and
 wayward behind that is covered with prickly orange hairs.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "but what the ondoings...i only got 2 drinks"
[]  hanna digitally reconstructs here.
[]  hanna presses gently the bum to the chair.
[]  Pangloss runs backstage.
[]  ryan.schram@ [to hanna]: what is the ongoing project
[]  Pangloss rushes back with an envelope.
[]  Pangloss hands it to ryan.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: Gift certificate for a case of bourbon.
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "My favorite."
[]  Pangloss does not have the room to store it here.
[]  ryan.schram@ understands. Ryan is getting smashed tonite!
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: You should ask the wizards for I am too shy.
 The wizards have been holding my bourbon for me.
[]  Pangloss has been saving it for a special gift.
[]  ryan.schram@ thanks you.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: How would you like to be remembered?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "so, did we remember my past and present purpose?"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: As the kind Scottish monk who taught me and
 whom I wronged?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "Violently"
[]  stay says, "Any chance of Ryan discussing eir project?"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: The banking clerk?
[]  ryan.schram@ says, "at the end, let them say (after the end) OMIGOD, He's
 BACK!!!"
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I think we will take questions from the
 audience now.
[]  ryan.schram@ presses gently the bum to the chair.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: thank you.
[]  Pangloss [to ryan.schram@]: I have ended the 'show' section.
Pangloss Archives emits a faint click.  The little green light goes off.