UVR3

The Ring

"MITSURUGI!" (SE)

The Japanese swordsman was mad enough to spit fire. He'd missed what amounted to a free shot at Soul Edge.

He filed his anger away as he entered the ring, even as he wickedly slashed the Silver Samurai over about ninety percent of his body.

A true samurai did not give in to anger, but was known to indulge in payback now and again.

"FELICIA!" (DS3)

"Cat Scratch Fever" blared out of the speakers as Felicia rolled down to ringside. The kitty's fan club stood up and cheered wildly, throwing balls of yarn around.

"TORGO!" (I&B)

"ThE mAsTeR sAiD i ShOuLd FiGhT nOw," Wanderer said in an eerie (sort of) tone of voice. "I hOpE tHe MaStEr WiLl Be PlEaSeD."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"MST3K reference." A clipboard bounced off Wanderer's head. "Hey, it's his damn fault for having that name."

The one-armed dwarf shouldered his hammer and ambled down to the ring. Fighting for sport had never really appealed to him, and with how his comrades had been doing, he wasn't anxious to try his luck. A man, or a dwarf, could get killed in there, afte r all.

As he entered the ring, though, something shiny attracted his attention. Leaning down, he held it up to the light, then shrugged and pocketed it. At least he had a little bit of extra coin for his troubles. With a stoic shrug, Torgo slammed his hammer onto Ryu's big toe and watched the Shotokan fighter hop around for a while.

Meanwhile, the Time Gem, inside Torgo's belt pouch, hummed softly to itself.

Room 1718, RumbleDome Hotel

"Home is the hero, home from the wars," Heihachi said sardonically as Bison entered his suite.

"Do not trifle with me, Mishima," Bison said sourly, pouring himself a drink without being asked.

"Why would I do that?" Heihachi checked his watch. "You were aware that Demitri was recently eliminated, were you not?"

Bison's hand convulsively clenched, shattering the glass he held.

"But, as you were busy gathering up your entrails from that other node, I suppose you would not be," Heihachi continued. "I've taken the liberty of sending some of my men down there--I would hope that you would--"

There was a soft puff as air rushed in to fill the space where Bison had been. Shards of glass rained upon the rug.

"--yes, I suppose so." Heihachi folded his hands behind his back and studied the ring from his window. "Perhaps it is time to make new allies."

Retrieval Room, RumbleDome

A faint FZWAAAHHWAW hummed in the air. Several of the fighters present had been checking their watches for some time, waiting precisely for this entrant. His fifteen minutes were now up.

Demitri blinked and looked around briefly.

Blue Mary cracked her knuckles and started towards him, with Andy Bogard and Joe Higashi on her heels. Ralf and Clark were on either side of the telepad, reaching for him with intent to maim. A man in a black trenchcoat and granny sunglasses aimed a s awed-off shotgun at his head; a Japanese woman with a katana in either hand and a lot of exposed skin was right behind Demitri; several dozen men in the uniforms of Shadoloo officers were also present, aiming absurdly futuristic guns at him, and Bison fl ickered into existence behind them as he watched. These were only the ones he saw in a brief look around the room.

The worst of it all was B.B. Hood, wearing an ammo belt and a happy expression. The light in her eyes could have been from her mood, or it could have been reflected from the LED lights flashing on the side of the magnetic accelerator she was carrying. The massive firearm emitted an electrical whine as it powered up.

Demitri teleported to the hallway outside and ran like hell. A small army of bounty hunters and grudge-carrying street fighters chased after him, fireballs and bullets flying.

The Ring

"GILL!" (SF3:2I)

Another one of the suggested themes played softly as Gill strode confidently down to the ring.

o/~ Ooh, you're givin' me the fever tonight/ I don't wanna give in, I'd be playin' with fire/ You forget, I've seen you work before/ Take 'em straight to the top, leave 'em cryin' for more... I've seen you burn 'em before o/~

"Pat Benatar." Wanderer made gagging noises.

"It's funny, at least..." Birdman consulted the playlist. "...but I wouldn't have thought Ken listened to that kind of thing."

o/~ Fire and ice, you come on like a flame then you turn a cold shoulder/ Fire and ice, I wanna give you my love/ But you'll just take a little piece of my heart o/~

"RIMURURU!" (SS4)

Rimururu, Konril hopping frantically to keep up, ran down to the ring as fast as she could.

"Nakoruru!" she called. "Nak? Are you still here?"

Chun Li looked up. "No... that pirate guy with the swords eliminated her about fifteen minutes ago."

Rimururu stomped her foot and pouted. "Great..." She turned around to dive out of the ring.

"WARHEAD!" (WG)

As she did, she knocked Warhead over.

"Oops... I'm sorry..." she said, getting up.

"Quite all right, ma'am! My first duty is to the civilians!" Warhead popped to his feet and picked her up. "As soon as I have you out of the battlefield, I'll to go deal with the enemy! They're all around us!" His eyes narrowed as he set Rimururu down in a non-occupied part of the ring. "I can hear 'em breathing out there... all of their lousy stinking hides..."

Rimururu blinked. "Um..."

"SEMPER FI!" Warhead yelled, and exploded the mat underneath Gill's feet. "NEVER SAY DIE!"

Command Booth, RumbleDome

"And now," Birdman interjected, "if I may have your attention?"

The video feed was abruptly interrupted by a scene from hell.

Laser bolts and stray bullets flew back and forth across a warehouse, cutting down the unwary. Soldiers chased each other back and forth across the length of the building, discharging their sidearms with reckless abandon. There was a sudden high-pitch ed whine as more powerful weapons were brought to bear, and a man carrying a massive firearm discharged it into the midst of the others. Men and women died screaming in flashes of green plasma, but as fast as they died, they were resurrected in bursts of light, and ran off to seek vengeance on their killers.

It was into this scene that Eddy Gordo was introduced.

Eddy realized what was going on and ran for cover.

"We cannot be bought, but we can be bribed here at the Ultimate Video Rumble, ladies and gentlemen," Birdman said calmly, ignoring Wanderer's snickering. "Those of you who've contributed to the 'Keep Eddy Gordo Dead' fund may note that while we are contractually obligated to send Mr. Gordo to his home node intact at the end of this sporting event, there is nothing in his contract about what we do to him during the Rumble..."

"...which is why we've taken the liberty of sticking him into a randomly chosen node for the remainder of this evening. As you can see, that is, once again, Quake 2, and those of you watching on RumbleDome monitors can track his progress by changing o ver to channel fifteen. Thank you, and stay tuned."

"We're gonna get in trouble for this, aren't we?" Wanderer asked.

"We're already in trouble." Birdman poured himself a shot of vodka; on the monitor behind him, Eddy did not jump quickly enough and was vaporized by an incoming rocket. "It is now a question of how much fun we are willing to have with it."

Main Lounge, RumbleDome

Axel Hawk and Laurence Blood had resumed consciousness at the same time Rumble medical personnel were prying Wolfgang Krauser's head out of the concrete. Doing their level best to try and look inconspicuous and uninvolved, they snuck out of the elimin ated seating as quickly as possible.

"Oh, my head," Axel griped. "You wanna get a drink?"

"It'll give us something to do while my lord Krauser is in the infirmary," Blood agreed.

Both of them flattened themselves against the wall as BB Hood ran by. She had some kind of unbelievably large gun in her hands and was looking around herself, occasionally firing a round in either direction just in case whoever it was she was looking for was hiding in the woodwork.

She turned to Blood, inadvertently sticking the muzzle of her gun in the matador's face. "Hey, you!"

"Yes?" Blood could hear the ocean.

"You seen that bloodsucker Maximov? There's a nice big bounty on his head!" She nodded importantly. "I'm gonna bring him in if I have to level this gyp joint! Right, Fido?"

"Woof!"

"I haven't seen the vampire, dear lady..." Blood began. Hood leaned closer to him, jamming more of his head down the barrel of her gun as she did so. "...and if I do, you will be the first person I inform."

"Thanks! C'mon, Spot!" Hood skipped merrily down the hallway, her happy little dog in tow.

As she left, Blood staggered into the main lounge and collapsed onto a barstool. Hawk came after him, watching Hood bounce merrily away with a mystified expression on his face.

Hawk turned towards the bar, but at the same time he did so, he caught sight of Jacky Bryant, sitting on the couch examining a pink jewel about the size of a hen's egg. Just based on that, Hawk might've said something, but he recognized the Power Gem from Geese's briefing.

"'Scuse me, pal," Hawk said to Jacky.

"Yeah?"

"I think ya might wanna give me that gem there."

"Why's that?" Jacky stood up, carefully setting his beer on the ground.

"Because if ya don't, I'm gonna have to break yer face." Hawk slammed one glove into the other with a sound like a drawbridge falling open.

Jacky slowly stood, putting his magazine down. He stood eye-to-eye with Hawk. "You and what army?"

Right about then, Mr. Big strode calmly into the lounge, Jack Turner and Mickey Rogers on either side of him. John Crawley and Billy Kane were behind him, and a flying Stellarex was at the rear. Both Jacky and Hawk turned to watch them come in; Hawk s miled, and Jacky turned eggshell-white.

The mage pointed his staff at Jacky. "I believe the Infinity Gem in question is right there, gentlemen."

"That army," Hawk replied, pointing.

Jacky reacted quickly. Big and his men were blocking the main door to the lounge, but there was an emergency stairwell behind the bar, in case a fire or a fight broke out. Snatching up his mostly-full sixpack, he smashed it into Hawk's face; shards of green glass flew. The boxer staggered backward, more surprised than hurt, and as he did, Jacky punched him in the gut, following up with a roundhouse kick. Hawk went sprawling into Mickey Rogers, and the two boxers fell to the floor.

Mr. Big gestured with one escrima stick. "Detain him."

The Virtua Fighter placed one foot on a barstool and leaped, a Mega Smash going right underneath him in mid-air, and started running across the bar. Hawk threw a Tornado Upper, missing by a fraction of an inch, at the same time Stellarex opened fire w ith his staff. The bartender hit the floor as fireballs and lightning bolts started shattering bottles behind Jacky, who leapt off the bar and rolled to his feet. An emergency buzzer sounded as he kicked the stairwell door off its hinges and ran like hell .

"You idiots," Big said calmly. This happened a lot.

His henchmen tensed up, ready for a lecture.

"What are you standing there like morons for?" Big continued. "Let's go after him!"

Stairwell, RumbleDome Hotel

Jacky took the stairs four at a time, not so much running as freefalling. The Power Gem was clenched tightly in his hand. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew it had to be better than staying in that room...

Sub-Basement 85-AA, RumbleDome Hotel

"Show yourself, darlin'." *snikt*

Nakoruru entered into the dimly lit hallway. "It's me, Wolverine sir. I think I lost him. I was chasing him for a second and then Siegfried cut me off..."

Logan lit a match to light a cigar, and kept it alight to see her by. "I ain't gonna lose any sleep over it. He's probably long gone, if he knows what's good for him. There's a lot of cash on his head."

Nakoruru's eyes widened. "There's a bounty? You mean people would actually pay money to see Demitri die?" She considered this. "How awful!"

Logan nodded grimly. "What did you expect?" He looked around. "In any case, Demitri's not down here, and I doubt we'll find him. The chump's got too much of a lead.

Nakoruru shook her head. "Not yet. I'll find Siegfried first...he strikes me as the sort who'd get lost down here."

"It might be the best thing for him." Wolverine shook out the match and headed back up to the arena. "Watch your back. Demitri might still be down here."

Nakoruru smiled briefly and turned down another corridor, then another, then a third, getting further into the sub-basement complex of the RumbleDome.

"SIIIIIIEGFRIIIIIED!"

"Shhh! I've got the monster trapped!"

She ran up to a small T-intersection of corridor, even more dimly lit than most, with only one small light and the red glow of the security panel keeping it out of total darkness. Siegfried leaned against one corner of the T-junction and peered down the hallway.

The knight grinned. "We have him now, my lady! We shall smite him with our blades and end his cursed existence!"

Nakoruru nodded. "You're sure you saw him go down this way?"

"Aye, miss. Sure as day. He's got to be in that dark patch at the end; this is a box canyon sort of tunnel, with no other way out."

Nakoruru drew her blade. "Okay. Count of three, and we rush him?"

"Sounds good..."

Nakoruru tightened her grip. "One....two..."

Suddenly, the red glow of the security panel intensified. Nakoruru turned just in time to realize that it wasn't a panel at all.

"Three." The voice spoke with the faintest trace of satisfaction as a fist shot upwards and smashed the tiny light, plunging them into total darkness.

The Ring

"DUDLEY!" (SF3:2I)

Vivaldi played at a tasteful volume as the boxing Englishman let himself into the ring. He was pleased; there was that Gill chap. He could approach him, make some small talk, broach the subject of that car, punch him in the face a few times...

Then Heavy D! noticed him, and walked over.

Dudley saw the ruffian coming towards him, and put up his fists. "Good evening, sir."

D! looked at Dudley's gloves. "You're a boxer?"

"Oh, yes, very much! Learned it at my father's knee. Had to do something in those afternoons after private school besides chase the maid and tool around in one of the Bentleys..."

D!'s jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Not at all, dear boy."

"I think I'm going to have to hit you now."

"Oh. Well. If you must."

"GUN JACK!" (T3)

Jack himself came out of the ready room, looked around, and clanked down the aisle. He waved to Jane and entered the ring, coming face to face with Warhead.

"WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, PRIVATE?!" Warhead yelled.

"I don't tink that I haff anyting wrong wit' my systems at dis time," Gun Jack replied, quite seriously.

"I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SPIT DOWN YOUR NECK!" The War God leapt.

Gun Jack Megaton Hit him across the ring. "Haff a nice trip."

"The sheer number of cliches in that fight is making me dizzy," Wanderer muttered.

"Try to fight it." Birdman studied his clipboard and pulled his microphone over to him.

"TARIA!" (M:tDA)

Wanderer wound up twice and flung the Pat Benatar CD out the window, replacing it with a fresh one.

"What's that?"

"Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds." Wanderer tapped the CD door shut. "Trust me."

o/~ Well, since I was no bigger than a weevil/ they've been sayin' I was evil/ that if "bad" was a boot, then I'd fit it/ That I'm a wicked young lady/But I've been tryin' hard lately... Oh, f--k it! I'm a monster! I admit it! o/~

Taria listened to this music and approved. Spinning her longsword and dagger around, she started towards the ring, pausing every once in a while to turn an audience member who got too close into a chicken. She jumped into the ring, raking Captain Amer ica with a barrage of mystic bolts.

"URGO!" (I&B)

The gargoyle rambled to the ring and sniffed at a turnbuckle.

Since it was in the ring, and hence presented a threat, King Venom Struck it. Urgo flew six feet in the air, holding its side, and slowly turned to hiss at King.

King swallowed.

The gargoyle leapt.

And, the final fighter of this Section:

"ICHIRO TSUNAMI!" (M:tDA)

Ichiro paused briefly before entering the ring, quickly assessing his duties within. Victory was a sweet plum, to be sure, but more important were his duties to his daimyo, Lord Doom (for so long as Doom paid him, anyway).

The daimyo had ordered, firstly, that Kyo Kusanagi was not to be harmed or eliminated until Doom's teleportation array could be retinkered so as to subvert the Rumbledome's void defenses. Admittedly, Ichiro understood none of the technical details, bu t that did not matter. According to the daimyo's briefing, the strange fellow throwing purple fire was a dire enemy of Kusanagi; thus he was to be terminated with all due speed.

Second amond the daimyo's orders were to slay any demonic or demon-controlled warriors. (Ichiro, having fought the deadly Hell Knight, firmly concurred with this order. Demons ruined the natural order of humanity, which dictated that the strongest war riors should rule.)

Finally, Lord Doom had requested that any powerful artifact without demonic taint should be captured and given to him. Ichiro, given his druthers, would have preferred to keep these powerful items for himself, but Doom was his daimyo, so that was that . The man with the shield, the girl in the strange suit, and that one-armed dwarf currently each held one of these "infinite gems"; presumably the daimyo would want them. (Ichiro snorted at the ridiculousness of putting a dwarf in the ring; all the world knew that dwarves were a pathetic slave race fit only for toiling in the mines.)

Having ordered his mind and cleared his soul of distraction, Ichiro leapt into the fray, slashing Dudley across the back.

WHO WILL LIVE?
WHO WILL DIE?
DOES EVERYONE IN THE RUMBLE DRINK?