From Kineticism@aol.com Sun Jun 15 05:22:33 1997
Date: Sat, 14 Jun 1997 21:55:19 -0400 (EDT)
From: Kineticism@aol.com
To: arctic@slack.net
Subject: UVR2 Prologue: Interview Show

	Here's something you don't have. Thought you might like to have it. :)

Thomas



[Screen displays the MVTN logo.]

ANNOUNCER: You're watching MVTN Sports coverage of the second Ultimate Video
 Rumble, a special presentation of the MultiVerse Television Network.

[Booth.  Austin and Putrid; Austin in shirt and slacks, Putrid in leathers.]

AUSTIN: Good evening.  For MVTN Sports, I'm Austin Loomis--
PUTRID: _And I'm not!  Ha!_
AUSTIN: --and that's Putrid, Rancid's cousin from the Post-Modern Age of
 the Time Killers node, whose rapier wit thrilled so many at last year's
 Rumble.  We're here bringing you blow-by-blow coverage of the second
 Ultimate Video Rumble, live from the Rumbledome.
PUTRID: RumBLE!  RumBLE!
AUSTIN: The rules are simple.  Once again, over a hundred fighters from ten
 of the most fiercely contested fighting nodes in the Video Multiverse will
 be thrown into the ring below us, to kick, punch, throw or fireball each
 other out of the ring, and into the acid-filled moat around it, until only
 one remains.
PUTRID: And I know who that one's gonna be, man!
AUSTIN: No doubt.  Earlier, I spoke with selected representatives of each of
 the nodes announced as competing this year.

				      * * *

[Interview room.  Austin sits with a large humanoid wolf who wears a ragged
green tunic.  The wolf has an oddly plastic look about him.]

AUSTIN: I'm here with Count von Sabrewulf, one of the contenders in the
 Killer Instinct tournament sponsored by Ultratech.  Last year, Count, you
 and your nodemates were on the sidelines; this year, you'll be in the
 ring.  How does that grab you?
SABREWULF [voice a bit deep and growly, but surprisingly cultured, with a
 hint of a generic Central European accent]: I consider myself privileged
 to participate in this "Rumble", and can only hope that the best fighter
 will win and win honorably.
AUSTIN: Speaking of "honorable", I seem to remember that last year, you 
 locked Jon Talbain of _Darkstalkers_ in his dressing room and tried to take
 over his slot.  How do you excuse that, and how will you and Talbain handle
 it if you meet again in the ring?
SABREWULF: My attempt to usurp the Bone Gnawer's place was an attempt to
 garner recognition for the Killer Instinct tournament.  It appears to have
 worked, though I regret the necessity.  As to how myself and Mr. Talbain
will
 handle matters...that is between the two of us, and will be seen in our
 own good time.
PUTRID: I hear that guy 27, the guy who's runnin' the Killer tourney -- he
 says he basically owns you guys' souls.  'Zat right?
SABREWULF: ...I'd rather not answer that at this time.
PUTRID: Sounds like a Yes to me.  What'a you think, man?
AUSTIN: I'd say so, yes.

				      * * *

[Interview room.  Sitting in three chairs are a blond girl in a tuxedo,
a brunette in a karate _gi_, and a raven-haired beauty in a rather revealing
red dress.  Sitting to face them is Austin.]

AUSTIN: Mai Shiranui of the _Fatal Fury_ series.  Yuri Sakizaki of the
 Kyokugenryu school, from _Art of Fighting 2_.  And the lovely lady they
 call _King_.  Put 'em together, and you've got the Princesses of Punch,
 also known as Team England from Rugal Blacknoah Braunstein's _King of
 Fighters_ tournament, who together put on quite a show at last year's
 Rumble.  Do you anticipate a repeat performance, ladies?
KING [toys with her bowtie]: Well, really that's all the luck of the draw.
 Last year, our three draws were relatively close together, and Yuri and I
 both managed to stay in the ring long enough for Mai to join us.  If Goro
 Daimon hadn't been eliminated in the first fifteen minutes, you might well
 be having this conversation with Team Japan instead of us.
YURI: Hai.  On our own, we Kings -- and Queens -- of Fighting have the same
 chances as anyone else.  But when you get a whole team of us in the ring,
 there's no stopping us.
AUSTIN: At least until enough people get mad at you that they concentrate
 their firepower on you. -- And speaking of people getting mad, I hate to
 ask this, but Yuri, Mai, has your working relationship suffered under the
 strain of the gossip surrounding your respective personal relationships?
PUTRID: Yeah!  What's the story with you two and Robert and Andy anyway?
 Who's zoomin' who anymore?
YURI [one of those word balloons with little icicles hanging from the
 underside]: I don't see where that's any of _your_ business.
PUTRID: 'Kay then, I'll talk to the tux babe. [starts leaning in close to
 King] I know what _you_ need, diesel-doll.
KING: Get your hands off me, _creep!_ [knocks him into a corner with a Venom
 Strike]
AUSTIN: Go ahead and hate him -- everyone else does.  But he does raise a
 valid point.  Your interactions with your respective fiancees were somewhat
 of a sensation at the Dream Tournament.  Have you worked that out yet?
MAI: I assure you, Mr. Loomis, Yuri and I have sorted out our personal
 difficulties.  Do you think we could have kicked so much butt at the last
 Rumble if we hadn't? [she smiles impishly and strikes her victory pose]
 Nippon no Ichi! [boing]
PUTRID: I think my nose is bleedin', man.

				      * * *

[In the second chair, towering over Austin, sits a figure in distinctive
leather armor, designed mainly to show off its owner's impressive muscles.
His face is covered by a horned helm with a human skull for a faceplate.]

AUSTIN: When you've taken over the Earth, stripped it of all human souls,
 and sent an army of fierce monsters to eliminate the owners of the souls
 you _can't_ grab, what do you do for an encore?  Shao Kahn, overlord of the
 Outworld, is taking a break from the world of Mortal Kombat to fight in the
 Rumble.  Good of you to join us, Kahn.
KAHN: *It was wise of you to select me as your interview subject from _my_
 node.*
AUSTIN: Just remember -- you don't own the _entire_ Multiverse.
PUTRID: Yeah!  Your stab at takin' over the Rumbledome last year went 
 garbonzas-up in a BIG way--
AUSTIN: Putrid, if you talk about that--
PUTRID: C'mon, man, the whole Multiverse knows about it!
AUSTIN: But if we _talk_ about it _on the air_, we could get hit with a 
 lawsuit so fast your eyes would pop out!
PUTRID: oh.
KAHN: *When you have finished your amusing yet puerile byplay, I shall still
 be waiting here.*
AUSTIN: Anyway -- what're your plans if you or your Outworld team wins the
 Rumble this year?
KAHN: *My plans are my own affair and do not concern you.  Not until their
 completion, anyway.*
PUTRID: Really now?  Maybe a few details?  Like, what'cha plannin' for the
 loudmouth an' his blond girlfriend?
KAHN: *If you refer to Haohmaru and Charlotte, their combined attack on my
 person at last year's Rumble shall not go unavenged.  I may say, in all due
 confidence -- they WILL feel the wrath of Shao Kahn.*
AUSTIN: Well, I wish you the best of British luck then, Kahn.
KAHN: *I thank you.* [gets to his feet] *And Mr. Putrid...*
PUTRID: Yeah?
KAHN: *It's official -- you suck.* [walks out laughing]

				      * * *

[A figure in semi-stylized samurai armor sits in the interviewee chair.
It may be seen that his skin is bluish, and the face on the chestplate of
his armor seems to be in motion.  The armor's shoulders, and the mouth of
the said face, are covered with duct tape, as is the sheath of his katana.]

AUSTIN: Last year, it came down to two men in the ring.  And the last one to
 be eliminated was Bishamon, the undead samurai of the Darkstalkers.  Now,
 the immortal spirit of Bushido is back, in the new improved version from the
 new node _Nightwarriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge_. -- If Haohmaru had been
 just a _leetle_ slower on the draw, _you'd_ be the champion right now, Bish.
 Does that rankle at all?
BISHAMON: The better fighter won, and won honorably.  I bear Haohmaru no
 animus at all.
AUSTIN: I see you've got the Peanut Gallery taped up so they won't cause us
 any distraction.  Do you plan to keep them taped when you step into the
 ring?
BISHAMON: If I could do so, and still fight effectively, I would gladly.
 But as it stands, I shall simply have to hope they are not _too_ inane in
 their behavior.
[Suddenly, the tape flies off the mouth, and the Bushido Crush hand comes
flying out.]
HAND: Ha ha!  I am crushing your head!  I am crushing your head!
AUSTIN: Where's J. Hillary Boob when you _really_ need him?
BISHAMON: How long must I endure it?  How much longer must I live with this
 cursed sword and armor?

				      * * *

[A plainly-dressed figure in white tunic and trous, with spiky black hair.]

AUSTIN: And where there's a runner-up, there must also be a winner.  And last
 year, that winner was the legendary loudmouth from _Samurai Shodown II_,
 Haohmaru.
PUTRID: So, Haohman, what's this rumor I hear about you studyin' with Akuma?
HAOHMARU: HA! TO MY SHAME, AFTER MY DEFEAT AT RYU'S CAPABLE HANDS IN THE
DREAM
 TOURNAMENT'S MULTI-MILLION-DOLLAR MELEE, I FOOLISHLY FAILED TO RECOGNIZE
 THAT THIS WAS BUT A TEMPORARY SETBACK AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO FALL UNDER THE
 NEFARIOUS SWAY OF ONE WHO IS RIGHTLY NAMED "AKUMA", THE DEMON!  THOUGH I
 HAVE INCORPORATED HIS LESSONS INTO MY IMPROVED STYLE, INSOFAR AS THEY ARE
 CONSISTENT WITH HONOR AND MY LEGENDARY STATUS, I HAVE RENOUNCED THE DARK
 PATH THAT WILL ULTIMATELY LEAD "GOUKI", THE GREAT DEMON (AS HE IS ALSO
 KNOWN), INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE NETHERWORLD OF JIGOKU!
AUSTIN: Probably a wise choice.
PUTRID: Man, that Charlotte's some babe, isn't she?
HAOHMARU: SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, YES, AND A GOOD FIGHTER, AS EVIDENCED BY HER ABLE
 ASSISTANCE IN MY DEFEAT OF SHAO KAHN LAST YEAR (THOUGH, OF COURSE, SHE COMES
 NOWHERE NEAR MY OWN LEGENDARY STATUS), BUT IF YOU REFER TO THE RUMOR THAT
 ERRONEOUSLY LINKS US ROMANTICALLY, I MUST QUASH IT HERE AND NOW AND STATE
 FLATLY THAT MY HEART BELONGS FOREVER TO MY BELOVED OSHIZU!  IF CHARLOTTE
 HERSELF ENTERTAINS SUCH NOTIONS REGARDING ME, I WISH TO DISABUSE HER OF
 THEM -- BUT GENTLY, AS BEFITS MY LEGENDARY STATUS!
[In her dressing room, Charlotte saw this on the TV and promptly started
shearing off her blond locks.]
AUSTIN: I'm sure she'll be sorry to hear that.  So tell me, Haohmaru, as one
 being to another -- was there _never_ a moment in the ring last year when
 your doubts returned?
HAOHMARU: HO! I MUST CONFESS THAT AT THE VERY LAST, WHEN ONLY BISHAMON AND
 MYSELF REMAINED, I, THE MIGHTY HAOHMARU, DID BRIEFLY SUCCUMB TO THE NOTION
 THAT THE UNDEAD SAMURAI MIGHT SOMEHOW PREVAIL OVER THE LIVING ONE! 
 HOWEVER, I SOON DISPELLED THESE DOUBTS, FOR HE IS OF AN EARLIER TIME, AND
 DEAD BESIDES, AND I, MY LEGENDARY SELF, HAD, EARLIER THAT SELFSAME NIGHT,
 DEFEATED DEATH ITSELF IN THAT VERY RING!  BISHAMON HAD THE ADVANTAGE, TRUE,
 IN CENTURIES OF EXPERIENCE, BUT HE COULD NEVER TRULY HOPE TO PREVAIL AGAINST
 THE WARRIOR'S WAY, THE WANDERING WAY, THE INTERSTATE HIGHWAY...

				      * * *

AUSTIN: Let's see, _Street Fighter Alpha_ is out...don't want to create a
 paradox.
PUTRID: You kiddin'?  With Chunny an' Rose, they _got_ a pair a'doxies, man!
AUSTIN: In the immortal words of our chief of security, "Ha.  I repeat.  Ha.
 Watch my hysterics.  Pause to regain breath after side-splitting laughter,
 then continue."

				      * * *

[A large purple insect-like creature with blades on its forearms.]

AUSTIN: From the eight corners of time, the immortal Death has gathered the
 Time Killers, to slice and dice each other in a bid for immortality where
 only one can win.  And I'm talking with the chronologically last of these
 eight crazies -- from the Mutant Apocalypse of the year 4002, the greatest
 warrior of her hive, Mantazz.  Y'know, I hate to say this in front of my
 partner, but you guys are the Rodney Dangerfield of fighting games -- you
 get next to no respect, but you keep coming back.  Why?
MANTAZZ: Each of uzz hazz a different reazzon -- I fight for my Queen, Matrix
 for her coloniezz, Muzzashi for honor -- but in the end, I suppozze it all
 comezz down to one reazzon.  We keep coming back becauzze we can.
PUTRID: Like a dog and his--

				      * * *

[A red-haired figure with the hawklike nose of an Amerind and a slightly
cubist look about him, wearing blue tights and red warpaint.]

AUSTIN: Last year, he was one of _two_ Virtua Fighters to achieve any actual
 eliminations of enemies.  And now, Wolf Hawkfield is back, as part of the
 team from _Virtua Fighter 2_.  So, Wolf, how do you account for that?
WOLF: Well, Austin, you have to remember that before I entered the Virtua
 City tournament, I was a professional wrestler.  When I stepped into the
 Rumble ring -- it was sort of a homecoming.
PUTRID: Wrestling?  Aw, man!  Even _I_ know that stuff's FAKE! FAKE!
[Wolf grabs Putrid and does a quick suplex on his person.]
WOLF: Care to repeat that?
PUTRID [groans slightly]

				      * * *

AUSTIN: WHere's Ryoko?  I'm supposed to be interviewing Ryoko!
PUTRID: The midget walked out.  She sounded real mad too.  All I did was
 tell her she looked kind'a cute.
AUSTIN: You eediot!  _Never_ call Ryoko cute to her face!

				      * * *

[A figure in a red bodysuit and helmet, with purple trunks and cape.]

AUSTIN: Some people say humans and mutants can live together in peace, but
 Erik Magnus Lehnsherr isn't one of them -- he's seen too much hatred ever
 to believe that.  And now, as the final boss of _X-Men: Children of the
 Atom_, the man they call Magneto has got _more_ than enough power to enforce
 his vision of mutant rule.  How does it feel, Magnus, to be in a category
 of such power that they create a new level of boss-hood just for you and a
 few others like you?
MAGNETO: It is a great privilege -- almost an honor, considering it was
 bestowed upon me by humans.  But I would be a fool to take it as a guarantee
 of victory.  In Avalon, I face my foes one at a time.  In the Rumble ring,
 I can expect attack from all sides.  If fate will it so, I _shall_ prevail
 by main strength and force of will.
PUTRID: And if you get your butt kicked 'cause you're so CHEAP??!
MAGNETO: If I am overwhelmed, I shall take it to mean only that I was
 outnumbered -- _not_ outclassed.

				      * * *

AUSTIN: Ten nodes, a hundred-and-forty-six fighters, plus the four mystery 
 slots.  Who will prevail...at the second Ultimate Video Rumble?  We'll
 be back, as the battle begins...after this word from our sponsor.
-- 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Blanka - Cham-Cham - Eyedol - Felicia - Goro - Kintaro - Motaro *
* Rikuo - Riptor - Sabrewulf - Sasquatch - Sheeva - Jon Talbain   *
* "I am not a human being!  I am an animal!  Cold-blooded!" (OCC) *
* Austin Loomis, aloomis@whale.st.usm.edu, zedd@io.com, is MVTN's *
* man at UVR2 (and he's got all these way spiffo Jenn.type.sigs). *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *