-------------------------------
UVR2- THE DESTRUCTION CONTINUES
-------------------------------
SECTION NINE RESULTS
-------------------------------

(NOTE: this section and the next are going to be slightly shorter than
normal, because I'm finishing up my exams and heading home for Christmas
and stuff. But, the most IMPORTANT event has been given plenty of
coverage. Don't worry.)


_The Ring_

        Ryu ducked again.

        He'd been ducking for quite some time now. Storm had apparently
made it her overriding concern to make sure that he got nowhere near to
Haohmaru. One chat with Rose and all of a sudden she was trying to stop
him? Ryu simply didn't understand what Rose had against him, trying to
stop him from fighting.

        Of course, none of this kept Ryu from jumping over Storm's Typhoon
and airblocking her Lightning Attack. It looked like an impressive attack,
but Ryu had already noticed the flaw. As she dropped out of her attack, he
was ready for her, and Dragon Punched her out of the ring. Storm landed in
Warriors of Fate. A whole lot of evil Chinese soldiers (as opposed to the
good Chinese soldier heroes) looked at her.

        "Oh, Goddess..."

        "<Who is this woman?>"

        "<I don't know. Let's kill her.>"

        "<You nuts? Look at her! Think of what she'd make us if we sold
her to the Emperor!>"

        A fourth grinned lavisciously. "<Why sell her to the Empire?>"

        He had forgotten that languages were meaningless when interpreting
facial expressions, and fell prey to a Hail Storm...as did all his
compatriots.

        As this happened, Haohmaru and Genjuro were still dueling one another.

        "...OF COURSE, GENJURO, ONE OF YOUR UNLEGENDARY STATUS CANNOT DEFEAT
ME, FOR INDEED YOU HAVE NEVER DEFEATEN ME ANYWAY! HO! IT MIGHT BE
SUGGESTED THAT YOU ARE INFERIOR TO MY LEGENDARINESS (ALTHOUGH EVERYONE IS,
MY LEGENDARY MANNERS KEEP ME FROM POINTING THIS OUT TO MOST PEOPLE, BUT
FOR YOUR UNLEGENDARY SELF I MAKE AN EXCEPTION)..."

        "...and then I will get a big big axe and chop your head off and
then I will put your head on a stick and then I will pierce your jaw with
another stick so that when I move the sticks I move your mouth and then I
will tour Japan with your loser head and play with the children and make
your mouth move as I say in a squeaky voice that is obviously meant to be
you "I am Haohmaru, I am a big loser, loser is me, look at me the loser"
and the children will laugh..."

        "IF I WERE TO GET ANGRY (OF COURSE, I NEVER DO. GETTING ANGRY IS
FOR NON-LEGENDS) I MIGHT INDEED GET ANGRY AT YOU, FOR YOU HAVE SLANDERED
MANY OF MY COMPATRIOTS' NAMES IN YOUR VAIN ATTEMPTS TO PROVE YOURSELF MY
BETTER...I AM REMINDED OF THE TIME I WAS DUELING WITH THE FAIR CHARLOTTE,
AND YOU INTERRUPTED US DEMANDING TO FIGHT ME AND CALLING HER...I BELIEVE
THE TERM WAS "LOSER SLUT", IF MY LEGENDARY MEMORY RECALLS CORRECTLY...OF
COURSE, THE FAIR CHARLOTTE BEAT THE NON-LEGENDARY STUFFING OUT OF YOU, AND
I DO NOT NEED TO FIGHT HER OWN BATTLES FOR HER AS SHE IS A CAPABLE
FIGHTER (ALBEIT NOT A LEGEND SUCH AS I) BUT I *WANT* TO SIMPLY BECAUSE I
WILL DO IT INESTIMABLY BETTER IN MY OWN LEGENDARY WAY!"

        "...and then I will grab Neinhalt Sieger's glove because he is a
wussy loser who couldn't beat me if I died first and then I will come and
I will beat your dead body into a fine paste with it and then I will go to
San Francisco and I will steal one of those "surfboards" and although the
champion of the losers Galford will try to stop me he won't because he is
nearly as big a loser as yourself and then I will return to Japan and I
will surf all over your dead paste of a body and I will hang ten and
everything..."

        They were completely oblivious to everything. Especially Kim
Dragon, newly arrived, duking it out with Bad Mister Frosty.

        "HAIT HAIT HAIT HAIT WA-TOW!" The World Hero kiapped as he kicked
Bad Mister Frosty repeatedly. He stood back and gaped.

        Bad Mister Frosty was standing there, unharmed. Five footprints,
in an almost star-pattern, were on his chest. The coal chunks that were
the snowman's mouth moved upwards.

        "Can't kill what don't live, loud man."

        "But you can rid yourself of it." boomed Sagat, standing behind
the snowman. One Tiger Blow and the Clay FIghter was knocked out of the
ring. He landed in MK3's Hell and promptly began melting.

        Sheeva was also starting her upward course over the "ropes". She
had decided to follow orders and go after Haohmaru. However, first
Genjuro, then Haohmaru had sliced her up, then both of them had launched
themselves upwards into their respective uppercut maneuvers, sending her
out of the ring.

        Sheeva landed in Mr. Do's Castle. Mr. Do ran like hell.

_Eliminated Seating_

        Morrigan arrived, with Psylocke in tow. Her other slaves were
going after a couple of would-be heroes elsewhere.

        Suddenly, thought blared into her head. "MORRIGAN!"

        Barely managing to keep herself from screaming in pain, she
responded. "Demitri, be quieter...that hurt.""

        "I don't care. Return to the room."

        "What? But you said..."

        "I know. However, with the presence of Magneto in the ring, and
myself en route, it soon becomes imperative that we have our full force in
the ring. Inform Lord Raptor, Shura, Fuuma, Ryoko, Neo-Dio, and
Erick...they shall follow. Our full force *must* be ready in our room."

        "But why?"

        The mental equivalent of a smile ghosted across Morrigan's mind
for a bare second. "You will see. Incidentally, Pyron has captured our
dear friend, Jon Talbain...the dog was trying to scout out our location
when Pyron and Mizuki caught him."

        Morrigan hated Jon Talbain every bit as much as Demitri did.
"Oooooh. What are we going to do with him?"

        "There is a folding silver cage in my baggage. Get it and place
him in it. He will completely unable to move in there, and he will witness
our greatest triumph."

        Morrigan pouted. "We WILL kill him, right?"

        "But of course."

        Something occurred to Morrigan. "How did you know to bring a cage?"

        The smile-pause happened again. "I believe in being prepared."

        The communication broke off. Morrigan smiled. "Rapty! Gather up
the troops...we're heading back to the fort!"

_The Ring_

        Magneto was laying waste to the whole ring. Yuri Sakazaki and
Robert Garcia were barely evading his Magnetic Blasts, and Rose was
Soul Reflecting every shot aimed at her, absorbing more and more chi
energy into her system. She was starting to glow.

        Meanwhile, Ryu and Guy were ducking and weaving for all they were
worth. Unfortunately, this meant they were getting hit a lot.

        In the middle of the carnage, Marshall Law was jumping over
everybody with his huge hangtime. He landed next to Haohmaru and Genjuro,
and kickflipped both of them to the mat.

        "HA! DO YOU MIND? I WAS ATTEMPTING TO DISPOSE OF MY ENEMY IN MY
OWN LEGENDARY WAY..."

        "Only I can eliminate Haohmaru for it is my destiny and no one
else can because you are all losers who can't eliminate a stupid man like
him..."

        Marshall Law suddenly realized he'd made a mistake, and started
backing away, slowly. Unfortunately, this gave Robert Garcia just enough
time to Haohshohkohken the Rave Warrior over the "ropes". Law landed in
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story.

        Turning around, he saw his idol. "Bruce! Bruce!"

        The master fighter looked down at a mirror image of himself bowed
at his feet. "Who are you...?"

        "Shut up and be worshipped!"

        Genjuro and Haohmaru both saluted Robert. "THANK YOU!" they yelled
as one. Then they returned to dueling.

        Jubei Yagyu was also intent on interrupting the Genjuro/Haohmaru
tussle. Katana and wakizashi in hands, he ran at top speed. "Kill
Haohmaru! Must kill Haohmaru! Master wants him dead!"

        He was interrupted by a Level 3 Super Soul Spark from Rose. The
bluish fireball slammed into the samurai's side, knocking him down to the
mat and groggy. Rose jumped in as he stood dizzily and kicked him twice.
The Shodowner was knocked into the ropes, where he sizzled for a good long
while. After he staggered forward again, a Scarf Snap from Rose knocked
him out of the ring.

        Jubei landed in Revolution X. Steven Tyler looked at him
curiously. The rocker admired the clothes sense, and the eyepatch was
cool, but the pants were just *too* baggy.

        Charlie noticed Demitri entering the ring. (Well, so did everyone
else, but they were all busy ducking and dodging Magneto's attacks to
bother with the vampire.)

        "Hey, scumbag!" he grinned as he tossed a Sonic Boom at the
vampire. Demitri looked at him, much as one might look at a worm...then
launched a Vampire Rage in response. The Sonic Boom was overwhelmed by the
more powerful fireball, and Charlie barely managed to block.

        Charlie was slightly worried, although he didn't let it show.
"You're gonna have to do better than that, bloodsucker!"

        Demitri looked amused. "You fancy yourself a hunter, hmmm? Well,
then. Allow me to dispel your illusions." He rushed in. Charlie barely
blocked the triple-strength Demon Cradle, and responded with a Flash Kick.
Demitri went down, but was up again in a second...and caught the
unprepared Charlie with another Vampire Rage. Charlie was knocked back by
the deadly projectile...and was pushed into the "ropes". After a few
seconds of shock, he stumbled forward. Demitri Demon Cradled him out of
the ring.

        Charlie landed in Basic Training. The sergeant looked at him. "ALL
RIGHT, MAGGOT! YER GONNA RUN LAPS TILL YER FEET BLEED! NO, YER GONNA RUN
LAPS TILL *MY* FEET BLEED!"

        Demitri turned to see Magneto tossing Guy away handily. The rest
of his opposition was down. Magneto was looking at the Haohmaru/Genjuro
duel with some interest.

        Then a Magnetic Beam shot out from his hands, separating the two.

        Both fighters looked at Magneto indignantly.

        "HO! I THINK YOU MISUNDERSTAND...WE'RE TRYING TO KILL ONE ANOTHER
HERE..."

        "Loser! I will spit you like a dog and then I will slit Haohmaru's
throat and I will roast you both over a fire and..."

        Neither of them finished their sentences, as Magneto jumped into
the air and launched twin Magnetic Blasts at them repeatedly. Half-a-dozen
Blasts slammed each of the Shodowners, sending them to the mat. As they
staggered up to their feet, they could see Magneto landing.

        "SHOCKWAVE!"

        The massive attack devastated the ring. Rose, Robert Garcia, Wulf,
Cinder, Kim Dragon, and Sagat were all caught in the blasts, but these
were minor matters compared to the damage Haohmaru and Genjuro took. Both
fighters were hurled out of the ring.

        Neither showed up elsewhere.

        Up in the booth, Birdman goggled. "BRANT!"

        "Oh, don't worry about it...that's the Golden Axe II node...it's
just that the dungeons aren't lit." Brant lied through his teeth.

        Scott Johnson pulled Brant out into the hallway. "When are you
going to tell him?"

        "We aren't."

        "What do you mean, we aren't? It's his tournament!"

        "Doesn't matter. I've seen Birdman handle stress before. Last
year, he nearly had a nervous breakdown when we included four extra
fighters! Do you REALLY want to tell him there's a plot to destroy the
Multiverse going on here?"

        Scott looked angry. "I suppose you have a point."

        "Thank you. Now, I have to find out where the hell they went, if
you'll excuse me..."

_Room 245, RumbleDome Hotel_

        Jon Talbain winced.

        All around him, small silver bars impeded his movement. He was
rather curled up as is, and still he occasionally touched the silver by
accident- pain shooting through him every time he did.

        And...Morrigan was walking into the room. Great. Great. JUST
great. One of the few people in the Rumble who actively wanted him dead.

        She immediately ran over to the cage. "Oh, look! It's Jon! Hi,
Jon! Guess what, Jon! We're going to kill you, Jon! But first, we'll let
you watch as we sacrifice Haohmaru, Jon!"

        Jon's lips drew back from his teeth. "You? Gimme a break,
Morribitch. You eliminated eleven fighters last year...this year you
barely managed one. I think someone's been slacking."

        Morrigan giggled. "What do I care? I've gotten great sex and I'm
going to get oodles of power-maybe even a node or two."

        "Well, you should care, because I'm pretty sure Haohmaru can take
everyone in your little entourage without even blinking."

        Morrigan's grin faded. She grabbed a small loose silver bar on top
of the cage and poked Jon with it. Jon yelped in pain.

        "Could not!" She poked him again. Jon tried to bite back a howl.
"Doesn't matter, anyway. We'll get him, because we've made some special
arrangements...and we've got you and Takuma Sakazaki prisoner." She didn't
mention that she didn't know what the special arrangements were, or that
she couldn't slave Takuma for some reason. However, Jon had noticed the
latter.

        "So, why didn't you make Takuma your little sex buddy anyway,
Morri? I mean, he seems your type. Having troubles? Your blood getting a
bit...weak?"

        Morrigan licked her lips.

        She hit him with the silver bar again. "Shut up." She pointed
across the room. "Look at my new acquisitions. They're mine, Jonny boy.
All mine. They enjoyed it."

        Jon craned his neck to look. His eyes widened. "You turncoats! You
stinkin' traitors!" He launched himself against the bars and was rewarded
with pain more intense than anything he'd yet experienced. However, as he
drew back, through the haze he noticed that the bars had bent. The cage
was not built for strength, but solely on the purpose of containing a
werewolf because of the silver bars. One more good hit and it would break,
Jon was sure of it...

        Morrigan, unaware of Jon's thoughts, giggled at his whimpering.
Suddenly, her face went blank. Then: "All right, everyone! Here he comes!"

        Suddenly, over a small red circle in the floor that Jon had
previously not noticed, Haohmaru and Genjuro appeared, sprawling on the
floor. Both got up to their feet.

        "HO! APPARENTLY YOU HAVE DECIDED TO THROW A PARTY FOR ME! HOW KIND
OF YOU TO PAY HOMAGE TO MY LEGENDARY ABILITIES UGH!" Haohmaru was
interrupted as projectiles flew. Soul Fists, Psi-Blasts, Blue Whirls, and
half-a-dozen other types of missiles slammed into Haohmaru from all
directions.

        Still, it wasn't enough to down the samurai. He staggered forward,
off-balance, waving his katana dangerously as he did so. However, his poor
positioning let Ryoko, Lord Raptor, Bob Wilson, Heihachi, and Jack all
whale on him. Although he managed to slash Wilson and Heihachi back, the
other three continued their assault.

        Haohmaru was thrown back into a corner. Further projectiles
slammed into him...occasionally one of them was a powered-up projectile.
Shuddering with each additional blow, he couldn't even get up.

        His thunderous voice was now weak. "ho...is it something i said?
if so, i apologize, for a legend such as myself should never be rude..."

        A final Super Soul Fist from Morrigan shut him up. The samurai
slumped into unconsciousness.

        During all this, Genjuro had looked on with some confusion. "Why
are you killing Haohmaru? I should kill Haohmaru!"

        Morrigan looked at him. "Tough noogies. He's ours."

        Genjuro lunged forward, slashing Morrigan mightily. "IIIIIIII WILL
KILL HAOHMARU! NONE OF YOU LOSERS! ME! ME! I AM DESTINED TO KILL HAOHMARU!
NOT YOU! YOU LOSERS CANNOT KILL HIM! JUST ME!"

        Suddenly, he slumped forward, stunned. Psylocke stood there,
psychic knife emanating from fist. All the other fighters took this
opportunity to finish the job she started.

        Jon looked on. And howled.

_The Ring_

        Kim Dragon was handing Sub-Zero a bucketful of pain. A Dragon Kick
slammed into Sub-Zero, knocking the Lin Kuei down. As the Mortal Kombatant
stood, he was quickly socked by Kim's Hundred Fists attack. Subby
staggered back and stood dizzily.

        Kim stood right in front of him and leapt on his back. Suddenly,
all Sub-Zero could feel was feet kicking upwards into his jaw. He fell
over the "ropes".

        He landed in Smurf Village. Papa Smurf grimaced. "Why? Why? What
is it? What did we do?"

        Meanwhile, Cinder was in Demitri's way. The vampire wanted to
attack Ryu (certainly, the Shokotan fighter would make an excellent
addition to his legion) but this flaming peon was in his way.

        Demitri decided to make an example out of the Instinctual Killer,
and floated forward.

        The Midnight Pleasure, as Cinder found out, was anything but. This
was not the orgasmic bliss of a vampire's bite...this was pain, the mad
slashings of Demitri's teeth lacerating his body then feet and fists
slamming into him. Cinder was launched over the ropes and landed in
Tetris, where he was promptly crushed by a falling T-block.

_Sub-Basement 328-34E_

        Charlotte kissed her blade. It had served her well.

        The floor now held three unconscious fighters. Cyclops was
sprawled at Colossus' feet, while Wolf and Janne were on the other side of
the room.

        It had been simple, really. Charlote had managed to keep Wolf off
guard with her epee long enough for Colossus to grab him and swing him
into Janne, knocking them both out. Cyclops had proved a canny foe, but
he was nothing to their combined power.

        She noted her companion was crying a bit.

        "My friend, why do you sorrow?"

        Colossus looked at her, wiping his cheek. "I have been forced to
fight a man I would call brother. He has been enslaved, and I do not know
why...I must find out. We must go."

        Charlotte nodded. "Very good. Let us continue on."

        The two of them strode out of the room.

        A minute or two later, Wolf blinked his eyes. He hurt all over.
ALL over. He knew they'd lost. He had to gather up Cyclops and Janne and
bring them back to the Mistress. Getting to his feet (moaning in pain as
he did so) he staggered over to Janne's prone body and lifted.

_The Ring_

        Guy finished tossing out Wulf quickly enough. The knight had been
protesting the entire time. "It's just a flesh wound! I can still
fiiiiiiii..." His voice trailed off as he disappeared through the field.

        Wulf landed in Knights of the Round.

        Arthur looked at him. "Where did you get Excalibur? I left it
hanging..." He turned around, and saw Excalibur hanging where he left it.

        Wulf suddenly realized he had to do some fast talking for the next
fifteen minutes.

        Guy then ran over to Robert Garcia and Yuri Sakazaki, who were
holding their own against Demitri's Vampire Rages by countering with
Haohshohkohkens or dodging.

        Guy looked at them. "We need someone in the Eliminated seating.
Everybody left except for Ryo and Yoshimitsu, and they haven't come back."

        Robert groaned. "I just got here!"

        Yuri smiled. "No prob. I'm losing heart...it just isn't the same
without King and Mai around."

        Robert looked at her. "What about me?"

        Yuri looked at him in a no-nonsense kind of way. "Robert, you're
my dear friend and I love you and there's lots of stuff I'd do for you..."
she blushed a bit, "but there's a good reason we've never fought together.
We start arguing, and then we don't do the...other stuff..." Yuri's blush
grew redder.

        "We don't argue! Who says we argue?"

        "We argue all the time! We're arguing now! Look! We're yelling!"

        "No we aren't! We're discussing heatedly!"

        "We're ARGUING!"

        Guy made a mental note to never get romantically involved with
anyone named "Sakazaki." Demitri had left to go after Rose, but they
hadn't even noticed, as they weren't looking that way anymore...and currently
Kim Dragon was getting pummelled with Haohshohkohkens.

        "So what if we're arguing, because I'm right! We fight great
together! Look at us, we've been keeping the vampire off our backs and..."

        "Simply standing here and firing Haohshohkohkens all day isn't
*fighting*, Robert! It's just being a big gun battery! Anyway..."

        "I'd rather be a big gun battery than not with you!" Robert was
REALLY yelling now.

        Yuri's eyes misted over. "Oh, Robert. You really mean that?" she
said softly.

        Robert kind of fumbled his words. "Um. Yeah. I do. I think."

        Yuri hugged him fiercely. Robert kissed her on the lips. Guy slapped
his head in exasperation. Kim Dragon wondered what the hell had been
hitting him.

        Yuri drew back. "Anyway. Bye." She then climbed up over Guy and
jumped out of the ring.

        Robert looked at Guy. "Do YOU understand women?"

        Guy shook his head emphatically.

        Yuri landed in Galford's stage in SS1. Someone handed her an
apple. She started chewing.

*****

FINAL RESULTS (62 voters):
--------------------------

MAGNETO (XM:COTA)- 49:13 (ratio=3.76)
GUY (SFA)- 51:14 (ratio=3.64)
DEMITRI MAXIMOV (DS2)- 40:22 (ratio=1.81)
SAGAT (SFA)- 39:23 (ratio=1.69)
RYU (SFA)- 38:25 (ratio=1.52)
KIM DRAGON (WHP)- 37:25 (ratio=1.48)
ROBERT GARCIA (KOF95)- 37:25 (ratio=1.48)
ROSE (SFA)- 39:28 (ratio=1.44)
**********LINE OF SURVIVAL**********
HAOHMARU (SS2)- 36:33 (ratio=1.09)
GENJURO (SS2)- 32:31 (ratio=1.03)
YURI SAKAZAKI (KOF95)- 32:32 (ratio=1.00)
CHARLIE (SFA)- 28:35 (ratio=0.80)
BAD MISTER FROSTY (CF2)- 28:35 (ratio=0.80)
STORM (XM:COTA)- 24:39 (ratio=0.61)
SUB-ZERO (MK3)- 22:40 (ratio=0.58)
MARSHALL LAW (T2)- 21:41 (ratio=0.54)
JUBEI YAGYU (SS2)- 18:44 (ratio=0.41)
SHEEVA (MK3)- 17:45 (ratio=0.39)
WULF (TK)- 14:48 (ratio=0.29)
CINDER (KI)- 5:57 (ratio=0.08)

BONUS MATCHUP:
CHARLOTTE (SS2) and COLOSSUS (XM:COTA) defeat WOLF (VF2), JANNE (WHP) and
CYCLOPS (XM:COTA) by 35 to 25 with 2 abstentions.

ELIMINATIONS: Magneto, Guy, Demitri: 2. Sagat, Ryu, Kim Dragon, Robert,
Rose: 1.

CURRENT ELIMINATIONS LEADERS: Haohmaru 13, Guy 8, Rose 8, Galford 8,
Athena 8, Silver Samurai 6, Mai Shiranui 6.

ALRIGHT. HE'S DEAD. NOW WHAT?: How will all you Haohmaru-Haters out there
deal with him being gone? (Pop the bubbly? :) )

See you next round.

Chris "Birdman" Bird
Brant "Duckman" Rogers
Scott "Cornfed" Johnson
Austin "Not an animated character" Loomis