-------------------------------
UVR2- THE DESTRUCTION CONTINUES
-------------------------------
SECTION FIVE RESULTS
-------------------------------

        Goro entered the ring and saw Athena standing, swaying a bit
from side to side. Concerned (mistake #1) he strode over.

        "Friend Athena!" he boomed. "Is something the matter?"

        Athena only mumbled. "The colours, man...the colours..."

        Goro decided to try shouting louder (mistake #2). "ATHENA! ARE
YOU ALL RIGHT?"

        Athena snapped out of it for a second. "Huh?" She looked at
Goro. After squinting a bit, she nodded. "So, *that's* your game, is
it, Mister Demon Monkey? Hmmmmm?"

        Goro was confused, and didn't hide it (mistake #3). "What are
you talking about, friend Athena?"

        "Oh, don't play coy with me! You're a demon monkey here to
steal people's souls! Being all innocent and stuff won't make you into
not a bloodthirsty demon!" She ended her harangue with a Psycho
Barrier that materialized in front of Goro, knocking him over the
"ropes" when he failed to block (mistake #4).

        Goro landed in Smurf Village. Clumsy was confused. "Ah, gee,
Papa Smurf, why're these, uh, humans and stuff landin' in our village?"

        As Fuuma entered, he saw Haohmaru. "The *old* Fuuma would've
run from Haohmaru! But the NEW Fuuma can beat up anybody, just because
he's so loved by his fans! Right, fans?"

        There was actually a loud cheer. Fuuma was slightly surprised,
even though that's what he'd asked for when he sold his soul. (Of
course, the cheer was actually for Haohmaru's deliverance of a
powerful slash to Galford's chest.) Emboldened, he ran forward and
punched Haohmaru in the back. The samurai, not even affected, turned.

        "HA! PERHAPS YOU WOULD CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED
(AND FAILED) TO DELIVER A DEVASTATING KIDNEY PUNCH TO MY BACK, INSTEAD
OF DOING THE HONORABLE (AND, DARE I SAY IT, LEGENDARY) THING AND
CHALLENGING ME TO MY FACE? AFTER ALL, SURELY ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF
KNOWS THAT I, THAT IS ME, HAOHMARU, AM FAIR, JUST, AND PERFECTLY
WILLING TO GRANT A QUICK DEATH SHOULD I FATALLY WOUND YOU (AS I SO
OFTEN DO)!"

        "Um." Fuuma ran for his life as Cham Cham entered.

_Sub-Basement 291-AXG_

        Ryo hit the wall again. Wolf was slamming him against the
concrete with every ounce of might he had (which was to say, tons).

        It had seemed so simple. One Haohshohkohken would restore Wolf
to his senses, and then they could take out Morrigan. And Janne had
come along, so she would have helped out, too.

        Unfortunately, Wolf was now Morrigan's willing slave. And
Morrigan wanted Ryo in a kind of dead way. So, Ryo was getting his ass
handed to him in a bucket.

        Takuma's voice intruded. *Son. Look, I spent a hell of a lot
of time training you, and it's not going to go to waste. When Wolf
charges you with his clothesline, duck it and uppercut him. Then
Haohshohkohken him as he rises. That'll be enough to stun him for a
bit, then you can go help Janne take out Morrigan and maybe *that'll*
return him to his senses.*

        Ryo, for quite possibly the very first time in his life, was
glad that his father had managed to scar his psyche so much that he
heard Takuma's voice in his head.

        As Wolf charged forward, Ryo ducked. Wolf's clothesline went
right over his head. Thrusting upwards with his knees as he turned
around, Ryo delivered a powerful uppercut to the Virtua Fighter's
back. Wolf sprawled down on his chest.

        Ryo sprang backwards a few feet, then summoned the most
powerful Haohshohkohken he could. It slammed into the rising Wolf and
sent the wrestler sprawling again, knocking him back down to the
ground, where he lay motionless except for a low groan.

        Ryo suddenly noticed something. Wolf's groan wasn't the only
one in the room...

        Turning around, he tripped over Janne's broadsword, lying on
the ground. As he lay on the ground, he looked over to see Janne
writhing in ecstasy, only a couple of feet away, as Morrigan's mouth
was clamped on her neck firmly. Janne's moans would have been arousing
in virtually any other scenario, but here, now, they completely
terrified Ryo.

        Ryo got up to his feet and grabbed Morrigan. Pulling with all
his might, he managed to disengage the two women, shoving Morrigan a
few feet away from Janne, where she collided with a steel pipe and
hit the floor hard. Janne, freed of Morrigan's embrace, slumped forward
into Ryo's arms. Breathing heavily, she looked into Ryo's eyes.

        "Oh, Ryo..." she murmured, and, with surprising strength,
grabbed his head with one free arm and forced his mouth on hers in a
powerful, aggressive kiss.

        Ryo actually started to respond for half-a-moment, but then
remembered the situation and pulled away. Janne didn't seem to notice,
but laid her head against his chest. Ryo was suddenly acutely aware of
her body against his. *Very* acutely aware.

        She started talking dreamily. "Oh, Ryo, you *have* to try it.
It's so good...I've had good sex before, but nothing like that...and
maybe we could do it together...she has two fangs, right...?"

        Ryo was horrified. Pulling Janne to her feet, he looked into
her slightly glazed eyes. "Janne! She's a freaking VAMPIRE!"

        Janne looked slightly unhappy. "You don't want to..."

        "Not like this I don't! I mean, she's like...um...damn..."
Ryo's famed elocution skills failed him. "She's bad! Okay? BAD!"

        Janne looked disappointed. "All right..."

        Ryo was ecstatic. "Thank god I got through to you!"

        He was then in pain, as Janne fiercely kicked him with a high
sweeping kick that connected with his jaw. Staggering back, he saw the
same furious hatred he'd seen in Wolf's eyes not ten minutes ago. As
Janne reached down for her broadsword, Ryo prepared to sidestep the
oncoming slash...

        ...and was hit by a shoulder rush from Wolf, full in the back.
Ryo sprawled forward and barely managed to keep his balance. Turning
around to meet the new attacker, he launched a Hohken, which stunned
Wolf momentarily but failed to neutralize the Soul Fist Morrigan had
shot at him from midair, or the Power Slash Janne had cut up his back with.

        Ryo wondered how Takuma would handle this, and unfortunately
couldn't come up with any other answer than "losing badly".

_The Ring_

        T.J. Combo and Saishu Kusanagi had entered the ring two
minutes apart, and both had made it their mission to pummel Haohmaru.
Knowing that their masters were allied (for the time being, anyway),
the two worked in unison. A Roll Punch from Combo was combined with a
aerial kick from Saishu. A Crackling Rush from Saishu was preceded by
a Combo Punch from, well, Combo.

        Haohmaru, being Haohmaru, did what he normally did: block the
attacks, counterattack, and shout loudly. "EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY COMBINE
YOUR ATTACKS AGAINST ME (AND I NOTE THAT I HAVE MADE A LEGENDARY PUN
WITH "COMBINE" AND THE ONE OF YOU KNOWN AS "COMBO"! HAHAHA!) I SHALL
CONTINUE TO REMAIN TRIUMPHANT IN MY QUEST TO REMAIN CHAMPION FOR A
SECOND YEAR! FOR MINE IS THE WARRIOR'S WAY, THE NOMAD'S WAY, THE
SUPERMARKET SAFEWAY!"

        Sektor, newly arrived, noted that the Silver Samurai had been
using a sword which froze its victims. "Posit: fighter known as Silver
Samurai may be Sub-Zero in disguise. Possibility measurement: 3.7%.
Recommended course of action: destroy Silver Samurai as precautionary
measure."

        Launching a Teleport Punch into the Samurai's back, Sektor
watched as the Samurai fell on his face. "Posit: opponent is possessed
of a low degree of fighting skill."

        The Samurai rushed to his feet. "Did you just say that I suck?"

        Sektor pondered this. "Suck. Verb. A) Inhale, vacuum,
lick....incorrect meaning. B) Reek, blow chunks, be lousy...correct
meaning. Reply: Your assertion is correct."

        "AGGGGGGGGGGGGH! I! DO! NOT! SUCK!" The Samurai started
slashing Sektor rapidly. His sword danced all over the roboninja,
piercing numerous key pipelines. The Mortal Kombatant collapsed,
quivering. The Samurai then picked up the fallen Sektor and tossed him
over the side.

        Sektor landed in the AD&D Tower of Doom node. Nothing much happened.

        Adon was newly entered in the fray, and decided to go attack
Haohmaru as Bison had ordered him. Suddenly, he saw Haohmaru launch
into a Sogetsuzan, knocking both T.J. Combo and Saishu Kusanagi over
the "ropes". He changed his mind. Some *other* sucker could go weaken
Haohmaru...

        Combo and Saishu landed near Sektor, in the AD&D Tower of Doom
node. Saishu looked around. "Where the hell are we?"

_Room 495, RumbleDome Hotel_

        "*Enter.*" Shao Kahn stated imperiously.

        "Good to meet you." Bison nodded.

        "*It is good to see you once again.*" Kahn replied.

        M. Bison entered the Kahn's suite, with Sagat and Birdie at
his side, as well as twenty Shadloo troopers, all armed with the
latest in laser weaponry. Of course, these were only the pistols. The
rifles had been left up in Bison's suite...it wouldn't do to carry
them around and alert UVR security.

        Bison looked at the Kahn. "I believe we can dispense with the
preliminaries?"

        Shao Kahn nodded. "*Agreed.*" He gazed at Bison steadily.
"*So, you wish an alliance with my forces. How interesting. Why should
I accept?*"

        "Haohmaru's soul is big enough to share between two, is it
not? We require each other's forces. Together, we are strong.
Apart...we are not strong enough."

        "*Speak not to me of strength, mortal. Look at Motaro.*" The
Centauran stepped forward at his name's utterance. "*He is strong,
fast, a match for twenty fighters, and my spells now protect him
against any projectile any fighter here can summon up. I have fifty
more Centaurans here with me, not enchanted as he is, but still a
match for any fighter. What do I need you for?*"

        Bison snorted. "Blade, if you would be so kind...?" A Shadloo
trooper stood forward. "Granted, my men aren't as tough as your mighty
monsters. But they're still a worthy match of any fighter in this
RumbleDome. And I have three hundred of them here with me, as befits
the leader of a nation."

        "*Insignificant. We both know that this contest for Haohmaru's
soul will be determined by the elite.*"

        "Exactly. Which is why we need to band together now. Our
elites-and I don't mean your beasts-together, could win this for us.
As it stands, right now Number 27 and Rugal are almost certainly
working together, I'm sure. There's also Mizuki to consider, and Pyron."

        Shao Kahn was silent for a moment. Then, grudgingly: "*You
have a point.*"

        "So, are we allies, then?"

        "*Very well. On this day, we band together to garner power
which shall be shared equally between our respective selves. Prepare
your rituals, as I will prepare mine. Once Haohmaru is eliminated, the
spellwork can begin.*"

        Bison nodded. "Until the coming of our eras."

        After Bison left, Shang Tsung looked at the Kahn. "I can't
believe he bought that."

        "*Fools are given to stupidity. He was so concerned that I
would doublecross him that he forgot that I might lie about how we
will garner Haohmaru's soul. Elimination means nothing. It is only a
means to the end-in this case, capturing him alive.*"

        "And then the sacrifice..."

        "*And the dawning of the age of Shao Kahn.*"

        Out in the hallways heading back to Bison's suite, Sagat spoke
up. "Well, can we trust him?"

        Bison grunted. "Of course not. He was looking at me warily,
and he let slip that he'd met my future self before. He's planning to
betray me before I can betray him." He smiled nastily. "Of course,
that isn't going to happen."

_The Ring_

        Leif was having a tough time with Galford. His axe seemed a
clumsy, brutish thing compared to the smooth, clean strikes of the
Samurai Shodowner.

        Of course, brutishness plays a part in any confrontation, and
Leif proved this when he chopped off Galford's arm with an incredibly
lucky strike.

        Both fighters stopped and stared at the stump. Galford was
almost in shock. Leif was too, but not a painful sort of shock.

        Galford looked at Leif. "I'm gonna get you for that." With a
firm thrust kick, he made good on his threat, sending Lief over the
top. Leif landed in the AD&D Tower of Doom node, where an increasing
number of fighters were sitting around.

        Heavy D!, newly entered, saw Fuuma hurling flights of shuriken
at Haohmaru. This was a bad thing. Sprinting over to the ninja, he
quickly delivered an R.S.D. which sent the World Hero spinning into
the ropes. The newly electrified Fuuma staggered around until Heavy D!
hit him again, this time with a Soul Flower which knocked Fuuma out of
the ring and into AD&D Tower of Doom (right on top of Leif).

        D! barely managed to sidestep the clawing, tumbling, snarling heap that
was Sabrewulf and Jon Talbain. Adon, busily blocking Rose's fireballs,
was not as lucky, and was sent flying right into his Alpha Streeter
companion. Rose retaliated with a Scarf Snap that sent Adon flying out
of the ring.

        Adon looked around when he landed. Geez, *everybody* was
landing here. Noting that a few fighters were busy having a bitch
session about Haohmaru, he strolled over to join in.

_Sub-Basement 291-AXG_

        Ryo groaned.

        Not in pleasure, mind. At this point, Ryo was seriously
wondering how stupid he was. He *could* have just gone over to
Morrigan, after all, and had a good time, and not be in pain, and...

        ...and be a goddamn zombie like Janne and Wolf, who were
currently both nuzzling Morrigan, one on each side. No. He was glad he
had fought.

        Ryo lay before the succubus' feet. His entire body was bruised from
head to toe. One eye was starting to swell shut. Burn marks dotted his
face and shoulders, and his gi had been slashed to bits above the
waist.

        He couldn't move right now, even if the thought of further
physical punishment hadn't been keeping him still.

        Purring kittenishly, Morrigan smiled at him. "See? I always
get what I want. And all I want is everything. I want the most
beautiful people to be my lovers. I want the most challenging
opponents to defeat. I want it all. Unfortunately, you got in the way
of that. So I had to destroy you. You aren't going to be a factor in
this battle now, Ryo."

        The haze of pain cleared for a second. "Battle?... What...battle?"

        Janne raised her mouth from where she had been kissing
Morrigan's shoulder devoutly. "Shall we kill him, Mistress?"

        Morrigan patted Janne on the head. "I drink some of your blood and
you have a thirst for his?" She smiled again. "We don't have to kill the
sorry excuse for a hero. We'll just let him sit down here and know
that he failed to stop my taking over your minds and hearts, which
leads Pyron one step closer to control of Haohmaru's soul..." She
looked down one last time at Ryo.

        "Goodbye, failure." With that, she glided off serenely, Janne
and Wolf in tow. He could hear her talking as they left. "So,
Wolf...who exactly is working to protect Haohmaru anyway? You were
saying something about..."

        As her voice faded, Ryo's last reason for remaining conscious
faded with it, and he passed out from the pain of lying there.

_The Ring_

        The Sabrewulf/Jon Talbain tussle had been broken up by Wan-Fu
in traditional style (yelling "YOU!" and pounding a werewolf at
random-it turned out to be Jon Talbain-with the Pillar of Pain).
Sabrewulf was now attacking Mai Shiranui fiercely, unlashing with a
sixteen-hit combo that sent her reeling a bit. She retaliated with a
quick Flame Fandango that knocked the Instinctive Killer for a loop.

        Meanwhile, Jon Talbain was busy ducking and dodging Wan-Fu's swipes
with the Pillar of Pain, looking for an opportunity to claw the King of
China senseless.

        It came when Wan-Fu drew the Pillar back for a mammoth blow.
Jon quickly leapt forward and slashed wild rakes across Wan-Fu's
stomach. The Samurai Shodowner grunted in pain, pausing long enough to
allow Jon the chance to Hotfoot the mighty King of China over the
"ropes" and through the field. Wan-Fu landed where everybody had been
landing recently: the AD&D Tower of Doom node.

        Up in the control booth, Birdman switched on the com unit.
"Brant...how come they keep ending up there? It's not very riveting
television just to watch them lie around for a while and chat."

        "The field meters indicate that there's going to be such
massive danger there shortly, that it's redirecting all other nodal
transfers there!"

        "English?"

        "You'll be getting boffo ratings in a few minutes if you're lucky."

        "Okay." Birdman clicked off the com and switched on his com
unit, trying to think of some way to make Mai Shiranui's tossing of
Sabrewulf into the TOD node seem interesting.

        Suddenly, the Cleric and the Elf ran by all the fighters
gathered in the TOD node. Looking at the gathering, the Cleric yelled
"RUN!" then proceeded to follow his own advice, trailing a small cloud
of smoke as he went.

        Saishu looked at the pair. "I wonder what that was all about...?"

        Combo laughed. "I dunno, but whatever it was, we can probably
take care of it. I mean, we're tough."

        As Combo said that, a gigantic red dragon landed behind him.
Everybody started running, with the exception of Wan-Fu. As the dragon
directed a gout of flame at the runners (incinerating them all),
Wan-Fu hoisted up the Pillar of Pain.

        "YOU!" And he lunged forward.

        The two most recent entrants to the Rumble were duking it out,
toe-to-toe. Dural was flailing badly against Hanzo, whose sword was
something the Virtua Fighter simply wasn't programmed for. With a
quick grab, the Samurai Shodowner vaulted the both of them upwards and
then down, landing in a flaming Strike Hez that nearly melted the
bonds of cohesion Dural needed to remain solid. A goopy Dural was easy
prey for Hanzo, who tossed it over the ropes and into Terminator 2,
where a spray of liquid nitrogen froze Dural, then tipped it over and
shattered it into a million pieces.

        Of course, nobody saw this, because everybody was watching
Wan-Fu singlehandedly beat the crap out of the feared Tower of Doom
red dragon. The dragon was whimpering something about halflings as
Wan-Fu continued his onslaught. "YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU!"

        Jon Talbain, meanwhile, was taking easy care of Cham Cham and
Pakupaku, first grabbing the monkey and tossing it over the side, then
Hotfooting Cham Cham into the Bust-A-Move node. The little dragons
looked at her. Cham Cham felt inadequate: before this nobody had ever
outcuted her before...

_Eliminated Seating_

        Charlotte felt a bitter stab of jealousy run through her heart
as Morrigan re-entered the Eliminated seating with Janne and Wolf
following her, both obviously having just had an intimate moment with her.
The three sat down on a large bench, Wolf leaning against the wall and the two
ladies leaning against him.

        Charlotte fought to control her anger at fate. *How is it just
that she has two and I cannot even garner my one? Where is the
fairness in that?*

        Wait. There were *three* of them? Where was the Sakazaki boy?

        Charlotte answered her own question as she noticed specks of
blood on Janne's blade.

        The noblewoman stood. Her course was clear...she had to go
find Sakazaki if he still lived, and help him out. If he was dead, she
would have to revenge him on his killers...

-----

FINAL TALLY (59 voters):
------------------------
JON TALBAIN (DS2)- 46:13 (ratio=3.53)
HAOHMARU (SS2)- 45:17 (ratio=2.71)
ROSE (SFA)- 42:18 (ratio=2.46)
ATHENA ASAMIYA (KOF95)- 43:20 (ratio=2.15)
HANZO HATTORI (SS2)- 39:20 (ratio=1.95)
MAI SHIRANUI (KOF95)- 40:22 (ratio=1.81)
GALFORD (SS2)- 40:23 (ratio=1.60)
HEAVY D! (KOF94)- 35:24 (ratio=1.45)
SILVER SAMURAI (XM:COTA)- 36:25 (ratio=1.44)
*************LINE OF SURVIVAL*************
CHAM CHAM (SS2)- 34:25 (ratio=1.36)
WAN-FU (SS2)- 35:28 (ratio=1.25)
SAISHU KUSANAGI (KOF95)- 24:35 (ratio=0.68)
GORO DAIMON (KOF95)- 23:36 (ratio=0.63)
ADON (SFA)- 22:37 (ratio=0.59)
DURAL (VF2)- 20:39 (ratio=0.51)
SABREWULF (KI)- 15:44 (ratio=0.34)
LEIF (TK)- 14:45 (ratio=0.31)
FUUMA (WHP)- 12:47 (ratio=0.25)
SEKTOR (MK3)- 11:48 (ratio=0.22)
T.J. COMBO (KI)- 11:48 (ratio=0.22)

BONUS MATCHUP: WOLF and MORRIGAN defeat JANNE and RYO SAKAZAKI by 26
to 23 (6 abstentions, four "split" votes which were disregarded).

ELIMINATIONS: Jon Talbain, Haohmaru:2. Rose, Athena, Hanzo, Mai,
Galford, Heavy D!, Silver Samurai: 1.

CURRENT ELIMINATIONS LEADERS: Haohmaru 7, Athena 6, Galford 6, Mai 5,
Wan-Fu 5, Silver Samurai 4.

WELL, MAYBE MORTAL KOMBAT 4 WILL GIVE US A COMEBACK: The Mortal Kombat
3 brigade hasn't gotten a single elimination yet; even more
unimpressive when you consider how many eliminations they racked up
last year.

See you next round.

Chris "Birdman Kong" Bird
Brant "Techie Kong" Rogers
Scott "Flunky Kong" Johnson
Austin "Kinky Kong" Loomis